cramming it all in

I think part of my problem is that I have reached the saturation point. Up until we started our new "homeschooling plus fourth child" year, I could pretty much get anything I wanted into the schedule with enough tweaking. Now, there are, very literally, just not enough hours in the day to do it all. I have made the mistake of trying to cram it all in anyway, something that has left me exhausted and trying to fold laundry at 11pm. I've read that many of the Saints got by on just a few hours of sleep a night. I am not a Saint. And frankly, not getting enough sleep is a downright near occassion of sin for me. Speaking of being a Saint, I love this quote by Flannery O'Connor...

"She could never be a saint, but she thought she could be a martyr if they killed her quick."

Anywho, when I start daydreaming about the kids being gone at school all day, I know it's time for me to reevaluate. I'm taking a couple of days off school to slow down and catch my breath, destress, regroup, retweak the schedule, and try again. Today we spent a good part of the day outside...I highly recommend ditching your lesson plans and spending the day outside every so often. In the spring, anticipating the Summer of Tess, I decided we needed something low maintenance in our flower beds. I sprinkled a wildflower seed mix in the beds around our year old baby dogwood trees. Not a great idea. The flowers grew bigger than the poor little trees. And wildflower beds, though low maintenance, are not *no* maintenance, and I hadn't been out there to weed all summer. So, today we weeded...each big kid took turns on "Jack patrol" while I weeded with the other. We pulled everything out of the dogwood beds, leaving them clean and bare and ready to be filled with pansies. Then Maria and I dragged several large tree branches that dropped on The Night of Ike to the curb for the city chipper truck that will be coming around next week. It felt good. The sun felt good, the dirt under my nails felt good, the exercise felt good, it all felt good, except for the slug I accidently grabbed a handful of. And being outside really makes me feel better about ditching school too, because it spawns so many conversations about which bugs are good in the garden and which are not, when the birds will be migrating, what might be living in that burrow under the maple tree out back, and what kind of grunge is making our dogwood tree's leaves look not so great. It's prime time for examing ladybugs, making bets about when the leaves will begin to change, and watching the slugs freak out and run for cover when their weedy homes are removed. I'm vowing to get outside every non-raining day with the kids for at least a little while. That's always the first thing to go when the day gets busy, and I think that's been a mistake.

Also good for bad moods....get yourself one of these....





borrow one if you have to, and go hide in a room away from everyone else for a while....

and while you have the chance, be sure to chew on these a little bit....



and blow some raspberries on this...




and don't forget to smooch all the sugars out of these creases here...



See! Better than Prozac. They should bottle this.

The Momma Plane

That's what Jack calls this kids meal toy. I know, because I look just like Princess Amidala, right? No, actually, I think it's the big knot of hair on the back of her head. Mine is overgrown and in a perpetual bun.

quote for the school year

Have ya'll been praying for me? Because I'm feeling much better. Thank you, if you have!

Here's a quote I came across in my daily Bible this morning...


"The school of Christ is the school of charity. On the last day, when the general examination takes place, there will be no question at all on the text of Aristotle, the aphorisms of Hippocrates, or the paragraphs of Justinian. Charity will be the whole syllabus."

~~ St. Robert Bellarmine

Our night with Ike

I hope I won't offend anyone's sensibilities when I say I have been feeling a little....pissy. That's the only word for it, sorry. I don't know if it's the small fires I've been putting out around here or maybe postpartum hormone stuff...I imagine hormones have something to do with it, because heaven knows there's *always* small fires to be put out. I've just been feeling very overwhelmed the last week or so. Prayers would be lovely.

In the meantime, I'll share our hurricane adventures. No, we don't live anywhere near the Gulf, but we did get the dregs of Ike, lots of rain and enough wind to knock some branches off the trees. Around 2am the night before last, in the middle of the worst of the storm, there was a BANGBANGBANG on the door. I immediately knew who it was. The neighborhood boys across the street run pretty wild. Lately they had taken to playing "ding dong ditch" with us, though this was the first time they had struck in the middle of the night. We waited a few minutes, and then they did it again, this time waking up Jack and Tess. John went downstairs and I waited upstairs in bed. Sure enough, they came back, and this time John saw our little 8yo neighbor through the tiny window in our front door. Sad, amateur children. Everyone knows that, 1. You don't ever ding dong ditch people that will RECOGNIZE you, and 2. You don't ever RETURN to the same house the same night.

John wanted to wait until morning to deal with this. Our neighbors are a bit, ah, unpredictable. So are their 4 dogs. I, however, was shall we say, pissy. I stormed down the stairs, stuffed my feet in flip flops, and stormed out across the front yard in the cold, pouring rain in my pajamas. As I neared the street my foot squelched down into a mudhole up to the ankle, felt a rock cut my foot, and lost my flip flop. Now shrieking mad, I kicked off the other and continued on in my bare feet. I didn't need to worry about the dogs. They were tucked inside, so THEY didn't get wet. I BANGBANGBANGED on their front door and the mom came to the door in HER pajamas with Mr. 8yo at her side. I told her of my little situation and the boy immediately started denying that it was him. So, I informed the darling that John had seen him at our front door. But, he insisted, he didn't do the actual knocking, his friend did. Whatever. Anyway, the mom was very embarrassed. At least, she sounded embarrassed, I couldn't hardly see her what with the pitch blackness and the rain streaming down my head.

Once home, I glanced at my foot. I found a cut down the inside of my big toe, but it wasn't bleeding. I went back to bed and fumed silently. Once my temper cooled, I became aware of throbbing heat in my foot and wondered if I'd cut my foot worse than I thought. After laying there wondering if we had tetanus in our front yard and trying to remember, if I'd contracted it, how long it would be before my breathing accessory muscles froze up, I got up again and went downstairs to look more closely. At that point, it was bleeding pretty heavily. I don't know why it wasn't before...cold...adrenaline...anyway, it probably could have used some stitches, but I wasn't going to pay $100 ER copay to have stitches in my toe. I could have steristripped it, but I couldn't even work up the motivation for that. Besides, I couldn't really reach it well enough for that, John would have had to be woken up to do it. In the end, I poured some hydrogen peroxide in it, bandaged it up, and hoped my long ago tetanus shot was still good. I guess I didn't get tetanus. I never did look it up, but I'm pretty sure I'd know by now.

ADHD and me

Over at Starry Sky Ranch, Kim has posted links to Newsweek articles on boys and school performances. They are not articles on ADHD, per se, but in the way my brain trips along, reading the articles led me to these thoughts about our own issues of educating boys....

---ADHD is a big part of my life. My brother, Kain's father, has it.

---Kain has it.

---My husband has it. Had it before it was even a diagnosis, even. He's 44yo, so ADHD wasn't even coined yet I don't think, but his mother showed me reports where a psychologist had diagnosed him as "retarded" when he was a preschooler. My husband is very bright, so I found this quite funny. Quirky, but bright. His poor mother, being told this about her son....

---The articles were interesting, and I think dead on, so I'm not picking on these articles necessarily. But, there is a kind of mindset out there in the world that says, "ADHD doesn't really exist. These are just normal, active kids that no one wants to deal with. The schools just want to drug them up so they will sit in a desk for 7 hours a day. The parents just don't want to be bothered with them and want them medicated into submission." Or, "These kids are really just brats that need a good spanking." That's not really fair because...

---ADHD is REAL. They have documented fundamental differences in the brains of these kids. It is SO real. Plus, anyone that thinks these are just "active kids" hasn't spent enough time with someone who really has it. You are welcome to remedy that situation by spending the day with Kain at any time. Frankly, I'd enjoy the day off.

---Is it overdiagnosed? Quite certainly.

---Is medication even necessary for all kids that really do have it? No. (breaking out my nurses hat here) Medications, all medications, have potential risks and side effects. Taking any medication means that (ideally) you are weighing the potential risks against the potential benefits. ADHD meds definitely have real risks. They can also have a lot of benefit. Whether the risks are worth taking is up to the parents of that individual child. Homeschoolers, especially, often decide not to medicate because they are able to tailor their child's education to that child's abilities and needs. They can play with legos while you read their history to them, they can fall out of their chair and roll around on the floor while you are drilling math facts without getting in (too much) trouble. The argument has been made that "sooner or later, though, they will need to learn how to sit in a desk and get some work done because they need to grow up to be Real Adults". This argument is, well, sorry, kinda stupid really, because

1. Lots of adults don't have desk jobs. I have never had a desk job, and neither has my husband. And, while I have no statistics, I'm willing to bet that adults with ADHD are especially not drawn to desk jobs.

2. As these kids grow up, the symptoms change anyway. In other words, ADHD kids don't grow up to be adults that spontaneously fall out of chairs and roll around on the floor. In fact, I have actually never seen my husband do this, now that I think about it, and I haven't seen my brother do it for a good many years either.

---Homeschooling also works for ADHD kids because these kids need a *lot* of social coaching. Kain has the social skills of a preschooler. It is rather sad to watch him in a group of "normal" kids, because he doesn't fit in. This gets worse as he gets older...the gap is more obvious. He has great difficulty making friends because he is so very odd. Soon after he came to live with us, we were in a doctor's waiting room and a child around his age came over to engage Kain in play. Kain responded by collapsing to the floor and rolling around the room. When the child persisted in trying to talk to him, he rolled under the chairs in a ball and refused to come out until the child left him alone. He was 7 at the time. Homeschooling just gives us more opportunities to teach him social skills, and less opportunities for him to learn social skills from a bunch of other 8 year olds.

---Sometimes, medication is a good option. Kain is on two medications. I'm not thrilled about it. But the medications don't "sedate" him. They just calm him a bit. His symptoms, without medication, are quite severe...so severe we thought he was actually autistic when he was a preschooler. He cannot function, socially, at all without the medications. This will probably change as he gets older, but for right now, there it is. I distinctly remember taking him to the open house at his old school before he started kindergarten. He was 6 1/2 at the time, and this was before medication was started. We were in the school for about 15 minutes. It was a stimulating 15 minutes,,,,new place, lots of people...he couldn't handle it. He would literally fall on the floor and roll around as we were walking down the very crowded hallway. When we got to his classroom, he started headbutting the walls. I couldn't even get him to stand next to me and be introduced to his new teacher, though I did rather get a kick out of the look of panic on her face as she observed his behavior. Medication has allowed him to do things that he would never otherwise be able to handle, like being on a soccer team and, eventually, making some friends in our homeschool groups. My point is, please don't judge those that decide medications are worth taking. There's a wide range of behaviors and severity of symptoms with ADHD. And believe me, even with the medication we still have plenty of issues to deal with. His hyperactive behavior is actually the least of my issues. The impulsivity and lack of self-control are far pressing ones. Medication does help some with these issues too, but he still has a *lot* of behavior problems to deal with.

---I still don't like the medications. I feel a little queeze in my stomach every day when I give them to him. I've looked into many alternatives. Some I've tried and they were ineffective. Some were of dubious repute and cost a lot of money to pursue, money that would be worth spending if I had it, but I don't. A few weeks ago I ordered a packet for the Feingold diet and after 10 minutes of looking through it I was so overwhelmed that I shelved it. I am planning to read through it more thoroughly and give it a try. For one thing, I spent $100 that I couldn't afford on it, so I feel obligated to at least try it. I am of two minds about it.

- When we try it, I want to *really* try it, go whole hog and give it an honest shot. Because I did spend $100. And because if it doesn't work for us, I want to honestly know that it really didn't work.

- But I don't think it will work. It'd be nice if this were the "big fix". Because medications, even though they help, still leave us a lot to handle. And medications don't last 24 hours a day. He wakes up unmedicated and they take a good hour to start working, and they wear off around 6 in the evening making dinner and bedtime very difficult and evening activities pretty much out of the question.

- But I'm a little afraid that it will work. Then I have to make some judgements. Does it work as well as the meds? If it does, it'll be worth doing. If it doesn't, does it work well enough to justify going off the meds and following full time? Or would the smaller improvement not be worth the trouble of the diet? And it will be a lot of trouble. Some of his favorite foods are restricted on this diet, and he is a very picky eater. He also does not take limits well, and the diet will open up a whole new battleground.

-Also, I don't want to follow a diet. If I was good at following a diet, I'd be much thinner. I don't want to learn to buy new products, cook different foods, and take on this big change when I have so much on my plate (haha...plate...diet). And then I feel selfish for not being willing to make this sacrifice if needed.

-But there it is, I'm selfish. Big shock. Part of me feels like, "You know, I really feel like I've done enough, I've made enough sacrifices for someone else's child here, because this child and his behavior problems affect every day, every outing, every meal, every bedtime, and has made so little of my daily life truly enjoyable and peaceful over the last two years, and if giving him medications makes my life a little easier then so be it."

-And then I feel guilty because of all of that selfish and non-constructive blah. Because it isn't constructive. Because Kain's mother hasn't been seen or heard from in ages, and Kain's father hasn't even bothered to pick up the phone in a month now and is obviously never going to give up his "perpetual teenager" lifestyle to raise his son, so we are in this for the long haul, like it or not, and feeling all negative and put-upon every evening after his usual tumultuous bedtime routine that turns me into a crying wreck at the end of the day because I want my old life back (his medications wear off in the evening, remember?) is not helpful. It's quite a cycle.

- And a stupid cycle. Because, for better or worse, he is no longer really "someone else's child", he's ours, and helping him helps us all. And because someone needs to take true emotional ownership of this child and his problems, someone needs to have a vested interest in what is truly best for him, and while we didn't exactly sign up for this voluntarily, even though our original hope was to provide a temporary home for him, this is where we are at...he is ours, the only alternative, really and truly, is putting him in foster care. And while some days that feels like a really attractive option, in the end I just can't do that.

---So, thank you for allowing me to unload this random stream of thoughts. It does help just to purge my brain once in a while. And now I'm off. Because while I've been on here, Kain has been prancing incessantly around my chair hounding me about a hundred different pressing matters, like "where is my computer game even though I'm not allowed to play computer on weekdays but I'm obsessed with it and have to carry it around everywhere I go" and "what are we having for lunch? for snack? for dinner? because I also obsess about food and have to know exactly what is coming up, for every meal, for every thing, every day for the rest of my life?" "Can I please please please please look again at the costume you said you would order online for Halloween for the 347th time in three days?" Actually, all these questions have just been in the last couple of minutes,,,because his brain whirls around as fast as his body.

How I roll....

I found this excellent video on Danielle Bean's site.

Danielle Bean » Catholic Vote

Posted using ShareThis

I don't blog politics much. I guess I don't have the guts. I hate controversy and arguments, they make my stomach hurt, and there's enough of it in real life without seeking it out on purpose here. But, I feel like I should say something, at least once, about the election. Then I can, in good conscience, resume my usual posting on such important topics as baseball game hot dogs and french-style green beans.

Here's the gist. I don't really consider myself a republican (shhh, don't tell my in-laws). There are many social topics that I can't resolve with the republican world view. I am, however, a one issue voter. I vote for Life. Specifically, the life of those unable to defend themselves. Are there choices republicans in office have made that speak against the sanctity of life? Yes, there are. Absolutely. But, in this country alone, over 1 million unborn children die every year from abortion. 1 million. Every. Year. There is no horror more pressing than that. None.

As long as abortion is legal, I have no choice, as a Catholic, as a Christian, as a mother, than to use my vote, as meager as it may be, to try and protect these children and their mothers.

Jack-isms

Me- What's your name?

Jack- Jack

Me- How old are you?

Jack- I'm free years old.

Me- Good! What's your full name? Can you say your full name?

Jack- blank stare

Me- Your full name is "John Michael V*" (last name withheld from google search engines). Can you say that?

Jack- My full name is "Jackie Baby". Say that.

Today is the Blessed Mother's birthday!

And of course, we must have cake...can't have a birthday without cake.



Hail Mary!
Full of grace!
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God,
Pray for us sinners,
Now, and at the hour of our death.

Amen

silly stuff

1. YOUR FULL NAME:
Melanie Catherine V* (Last name being withheld from the google searches)

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of your first name plus “izzle”)
Melizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color and favorite animal)
Sage Cockatoo

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (your middle name and the name of one of your pets)
Catherine Dinah

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name and the first 2 Letters of your first name)
Melvo

6. YOUR SUPERHERO/CRIMINAL NAME: (Your 2nd favorite color and your favorite drink)
Yellow Macchiato

7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (parents’ middle names)
May Roy

On being anal-retentive.

On the surface (like, to people who have never been to my house) I often look really organized. At least, it seems that way to me, because people will say, "Wow, you are really organized." I carry around a huge planner, which I call "My Brain",,,seriously, I've been known to run through the house, digging frantically through piles, saying, "Has anyone seen My Brain?",,,I have a system/check list for everything I do, from meals to housecleaning (daily/weekly/monthly/and seasonal!), daily schedules, etc. But I'm not truly organized, not really. The truth is that I have to compensate, heavily, for my LACK OF natural organization. If I plan these things really well, and try mightily to follow The Plan in spite of my tendency towards procrastination, I might actually accomplish 80% of The Plan. This is important, because when I don't follow The Plan, things fall apart.

Case in point...this morning. I made a list in yesterday's post of what I needed to get done this weekend. I got the cleaning done. I got Mount Laundry pretty much all done, i.e., I threw the last load in the washer this morning. Nothing has been folded yet, and all my desk work still awaits me. It took me all day to get the cleaning done around the regular Care and Feeding of Children. Anyway, this morning Kain had his first morning back at PSR (Catholic Sunday school, for my Separated Brethern Readers). This meant we had to be at the church at 8:45 instead of the 10am time we'd become accustomed to all summer. John was/is at work. Maria was/is visiting my parents. So I was on my own with the three younger kids. And the morning was a total wash because I was not following The Plan and haven't been for a week. Well, nearly a wash...I did get to receive the Eucharist,,,just barely, in between hauling Jack out of mass for various misbehaviors. Three year olds are truly wild. Anyway. Where was I?

Oh yes. The Plan, or lack thereof. Well, first of all, since I was running around like crazy playing catch up yesterday, I didn't get to bed until midnight, which means I did not get up quite on time. I still did have *enough* time, but I made a bad situation worse by breaking one of the cardinal rules in our house, No Computer Before Mass. Kain did point this out to me, but I silenced him with a glare over my cup of coffee and logged on anyway. I was just wanting to make a quick email check on a very pregnant friend (yes, another one), but the computer, being the giant timesucker that it is....well, I made myself very late. All of a sudden it was 8am, and we had to leave in 30 minutes. And we were all still in pajamas.

And here's where the lack of The Plan made things even worse. Because I had to quickly formulate a New Last Minute Plan, and those are always stressful. First, I had to dig boy clothes out from the now-clean Mount Laundry. If I had been following The Plan, the clothes would have been done and put away and I wouldn't have spent 10 minutes hunting down tiny navy blue socks. I quickly dressed Jack, laid out clothes for Kain, and threw some toast in the toaster oven for me (the boys had eaten). I packed the diaper bag with Magnifikids, saints books and a pre-mass snack for Jack, put together the offering envelopes and gathered some change for the boys to put in the children's offering. When following The Plan, these things are all made ready the night before. Because it's on the Saturday Evening List, that's why.

At that point, it was 8:20. I had to choose...me or Tess. Tess was asleep. She had woken up at 6am, nursed, and gone back to sleep. I thought briefly of dropping Kain off and then coming back home to shower, we do live close to the church, but I would easily lose 15 minutes just from having to load/unload/reload Jack and Tess in the van. So, I grabbed her clothes and a diaper to stuff in my diaper bag, praised God for the breastfeeding that allowed her to eat easily on the fly, and jumped in for a quick shower that wasn't as quick as it could have been since I had hardly any water pressure due to the load of laundry in the washer at the time. At 8:40, I plucked her, still sleeping, out of her crib and put her into the carseat and rounded boys out to the car with a carseat in one hand, a cup of coffee in the other, an overflowing diaper bag on my shoulder, and a piece of toast clenched in my teeth. I dropped Kain off, just 4 minutes late, and then turned Jack loose to push random console buttons in the van while I nursed and dressed Tess and wished my hair dry.

So, we made it, but it was stressful, not a great start to Sunday. It's time to get back on The Plan. And that means staying off the computer for the rest of the day.

Saturday plans

----Weekly cleaning list

----update lesson plans

----organize Jack's Montessori-ish school stuff

----fold all the backed up, never got folded laundry from last week and start new week's worth of laundry

----plan meals for new pay period so I can make my huge grocery haul on Monday when John is off

---pay bills and sit with budget to figure out new, magic budget plan that will accomadate rising food costs and still allow me to start socking away Christmas money


(sigh) I'm tired already. Saturday has always been "catch up day", to get to all the stuff I don't have time for during the week,,,but this weekend is ridiculous. I try really hard to get everything done on Saturday and leave Sunday free and clear, but this weekend I don't think it's going to happen. I'm going to at least make sure to get the cleaning/laundry part done today, but some of the planning/paperwork stuff is going to have to happen tomorrow. Especially since John is at work all weekend, and Maria is at my parent's visiting...I have no helpers. I'd better get to work. Wish me luck!

questions

One of Jack's favorite games is to pull items out of the pantry and ask you what they are. It's really cute, because he speaks slowly and carefully like his father, and it's funny to hear him pronouncing unfamiliar words.

Jack in the pantry- What's this?

Me, at the stove- It's cornmeal.

Jack- Is it cornmeal?

Me- Yep.

Jack- What's this?

Me- Noodles.

Jack- Is it noodles?

Me- Yep.

Jack- What's this?

Me- Green beans.

Jack- Are they French-style green beans?

Me, turning around- Uh...well, yes. Yes they are French-style green beans.

Apparently someone else has been playing the game with him too.

The vestiges of summer....a lazy photos post

Maria's birthday

My baby is 12 years old. And she looks 14. You haven't quite experienced that kicked in the gut feeling until you see a grown man "checking out" your daughter at the lake. You might even yell after him, "HEY! DUDE! SHE'S 11 YEARS OLD AND I'LL CALL THE COPS FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY FELONY!"

Um...yeah. I actually did this. I mean, even if she *was* 14, she'd still be only FOURTEEN, you know? Creep.

She didn't hear me say it, and thankfully she seems blissfully unaware of such attentions. She is an amazing blend of young woman and little girl. She is smart and funny and a pleasure to be around. I'm so proud of my almost-teenager.

So, for her birthday this year, I took her and a friend on a girls' day out. It was an especially special one because this very sweet friend of hers has just recently moved five hours away just a couple of weeks ago. Her parents were nice enough to loan her to us, in spite of the enormous post-move hassle I'm sure it caused. We first went to Claire's and spend a small fortune on various pieces of junk jewelry, then out to Maria's favorite Chinese buffet for lunch, to rent a movie, then to pick up an ice-cream cake and sodas. Claire's was the highlight. They had a 10 items for $10 sale and the girls cleaned up. In a push of enormous maternal patience on my part, I pushed Tess back and forth around the tiny store filled with giggling pre-teens for an entire HOUR while they debated their purchases and not once did I say, "PLEASE, HURRY UP!!!" On the way to lunch, they donned every single piece they had bought. Every. Single. Piece. When we got out of the van, Maria struck a pose and said, "Aren't I beeyoooteeful?"

Yes, baby. Heaven help me, yes, you are.

Tess turns three months

Welcome to the world!

Kelly's baby has been born! Yay!
They are both stable but keep Momma in your prayers if you would. She isn't going to be out of the woods for a bit longer yet.

storming heaven

For Monkey number 6, being born a bit early tonight.
Please pray with me for a safe delivery and healthy baby.
Kelly has super complicated pregnancies and she and her husband have an amazing openess to life and God's providence.

I'm just going to throw up I'm so nervous for her...lol.

Love it.

Running for Vice President.
With a baby in a sling.



So fabulous. I've been on cloud nine all day. :)

If it makes you feel any better....

I've read recently, and not for the first time, that people don't like to read homeschooling blogs because they make them feel inadequate with what they do in their own home. I think it's true that we do tend to post the best of what we do on our blogs, though I do honestly try to give a view of my "dark side" once in a while. :) But just to make sure you leave here feeling completely adequate...

----Sometimes I yell at my kids.

----Sometimes I yell at my husband.

----Sometimes I yell at the cats.

----My house is cluttered in a major way. Seriously. Come over, it'd make anyone feel better.

----My backyard is an overgrown amazon rainforest because neither I nor my husband have had time to do anything more than ride the mower around all summer.

----I have a package sitting on the counter to send to my mother in law for her birthday. Her birthday was last week.

----We're already behind where we are "supposed" to be on our syllabi.

----My living room is edged with a layer of popcorn because I didn't bother to break out the attachment on the vacuum to clean along the walls since I don't know when. Then the vacuum cleaner broke. That was two weeks ago.

---I haven't done "spring cleaning" since Jack was born. He'll be four in October.

---I didn't feel like cooking dinner tonight. So when I stopped at the store to get milk, I also got a package of buns and hot dogs. Not the healthy kind. The kind filled with nitrates and other carcinogens. I figured it was still healthier than McDonald's.

---Almost every morning, when I try to have my prayer time, I fall asleep.

---My favorite fantasy involves checking into a hotel room. Without my kids. And without my husband. Alone. Then I fall asleep, and sleep until I wake up all on my own, without being awakened by anyone. Then I get some awesome Mexican take-out, a bottle of Corona, and watch a whole movie without stopping once to chase a child back to bed or soak poo out of someone's pajama pants. And then I sleep some more.

---I really, really love my kids. I really, really love my husband. I love homeschooling. But I really butcher things up sometimes with all of them. Sometimes I do something stunningly well. And other times I really blow it. Most all of the time I'm somewhere in the middle. I bet you're the same way, huh?

Some of the blogs I read (like the ones listed on the right) do present life as pretty darned perfect. They inspire me though. There's something I identify with there. Other blogs I have read and they rubbed me the wrong way for one reason or another, so I quit going there. (This doesn't mean that if your blog isn't listed that I don't like your blog! It means I need to update my list!) Blogs seem to have personalities all their own, don't they? I doubt my blog would make anyone feel inferior. :) I do try really hard to show the "realness" here. And I'm not accomplishing any feats of greatness in homeschooling or anything else. But it's human nature to present our best I guess. So take my blog, and anyone else's, for what it is....sharing what works for us, what we enjoy, and know that for every great moment you read about on someone's blog there are likely a dozen not so shining ones they didn't share. If my blog makes you smile, then I am beyond honored. If reading blogs, even my blog, makes you feel inferior, then leave it. Find another way to connect, through yahoo groups or message boards, or if you are lucky enough, "real life friends", but don't do something that makes you feel discouraged, not for one minute longer! There's enough to discourage us out there without looking for actively looking for discouragement.
Being a good mother is HARD. Look for things that lift you up. God bless you!

It's not so bad....

It's not so bad, when dinner's late
At the end of a too-long day,
When the big kids are clamoring to eat,
And Cheerios crunch beneath your bare feet
As you impatiently wait for pasta to boil,
And the quiet, self-sufficient toddler
Helps himself to an unfinished bowl of popcorn on the table,
And his chair tips over and ends his quietness,
And as you hug him against your hip,
He spots the ancient marshmallows in the open cabinet,
And cries still more earnestly when you tell him no,
And the baby, patient no more,
Begins to desperately slurp her fingers,
So you dig out some long forgotten music,
The grown-up kind you never listen to anymore,
And you scoop up restless baby,
And squeeze close the unhappy toddler,
And dance in the kitchen while the pasta boils,
Swaying and circling to bluegrass tunes,
And singing still-remembered lyrics,
While the baby clutches your hair in sticky fists,
And the toddler grins and hangs on your hip,
And Cheerios crunch beneath your bare feet.
It's not so bad.

Feast of the Assumption

Kain- What church are we going to today?

Me- What do you mean? We're going to our regular church.

Kain- Is that where the feast is?

Me- What feast?

Kain- You said today was a feast day!

Me- Oh. Well, it doesn't mean we have a feast, Kain, it just means
it's a special day in the Church.

Kain, disgusted- So, basically a feast day just means we have to go
to mass then?

Me- Yep.

Well, that's not entirely true. They got the day off from doing
school work, and we had a nice dinner (though I wouldn't necessarily
call it a "feast"), especially for a Friday which is usually soup and
bread night, and a special dessert. We clipped some roses out of the
backyard for the altar. I was hoping to do an activity of some kind,
but we never got to it.

Take me out to the baaaaaaaallll game....

Today we all went to our first baseball game. Well, it wasn't John's first, he grew up going to Cardinal games, but for the rest of us....first game. We had so much fun! We're not big sports people, you know. But the kids got free tickets at the library to our new minor league team stadium, so we decided to take advantage of it. The freebies weren't really the great deal I thought they were, because it turns out the tickets are really cheap. We did, however, spend a small fortune in concessions and such. Still, the tickets saved us $18. Here's some pics....


Kain watching the game from our berm seats.


Kain rolling down the berm.




The big hit of the day, the giant inflatable slide.


Dirty, dirty Jack and his hot dog. Notice the bun is empty now. Just as I snapped this pic it slipped out onto the sidewalk. We dusted it off and put it back in the bun. God made dirt and dirt don't hurt. Dirt especially doesn't hurt a $4 hot dog.


It was very cloudy while we were there, which was great because it made it nice and cool. In the last couple of innings though, the drizzle finally started. But when the ushers opened up the good seats, that didn't stop my gang from going down for a good view of the game.



Or from running the bases after the game was over.

Coolest of all, one of the ball players gave Jack a ball from the game. He just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Kain and Maria, however, were not there, they had already bolted out to the field to run the bases. When Kain found out, he threw a raging fit in front of God and several hundred people leaving the stadium. Aces.

Still, it was a good day. It was surprisingly fun, surprisingly expensive, but fun and worth doing at least once a summer. Jack, especially, had such a good time and is so tickled with his ball.

the new school year meal plan

Boring minutiae...it helps me to think "out loud" though...

It's not really much different from what we've been doing. Sorry to sound so impressive in the title. I did actually post some dinners for this week over on the right there for the first time in months. We are trying a few new things....

....pretty much the same breakfast every day, but a good one. The night before I put some bread in the breadmaker and Irish oats in the crock pot. I make hot cocoa (shh..it's Ovaltine, really) in the morning and scramble some eggs. Everyone is loving the big, hot breakfast and it's been very easy to do.

...the fruit and veggie plate. I'd been wanting everyone to eat more fresh foods, but it was always such a pain trying to come up with enough variety to please some and still keep favorites for the picky ones. So I picked up a big divided platter at wally world and each morning after breakfast I fill it with a selection of whatever we have in the house...cucumber sticks, baby carrots, peach slices, strawberries... When winter comes and the selection is smaller, I'll probably also use some things like raisins, applesauce cups, pickles, olives, etc. I put the plate out at lunch time and everyone is expected to eat something off of it. I leave the plate out all afternoon and let everyone graze as they want to until dinner.

...watching the grocery budget. Who isn't? I have started trying to get some good, homemade bread or rolls on the table each night at dinner so that I can be stingier with more expensive meat. We are now having a soup and bread meal on Friday nights and we are still having "brinner", breakfast for dinner on Sunday nights. These two meals are pretty low-cost to make. And I've been rationing milk, which costs just about as much per gallon as gas now. The big kids get milk in their cocoa at breakfast and milk at dinner. I think this is plenty. We eat a lot of yogurt and cheese too, so I think they get enough calcium. They can have juice with lunch. Tea at tea time. Water the rest of the day. I buy fewer snack foods than ever. We usually have a homemade goodie for tea time, otherwise there's the fruit and veggie tray, string cheese, yogurt, popcorn, nuts, granola or cereal bars, tortillas with melted cheese or peanut butter, and any leftover rolls/muffins/homemade bread is up for snack grabs.

Other than that, things are about the same. I'm using the seasonal dinner meals I gathered last year, though now I'm started to round them out with some better side dishes. We still have a lunch menu...it's embarrassingly easy. Lunch has to be quick to put together around here, but I try not to use too many convenience foods. We do use some though.

Sunday- macaroni and cheese

Monday- sandwiches (turkey, tuna fish, peanut butter)

Tuesday- snack lunch---popcorn, crackers and cheese, peanut butter celery, maybe some hummus or other kind of dip

Wednesday- nachos (just taco chips with beans or leftover chicken or something, cheese melted on top, lettuce, tomato, black olives, maybe avacado)

Thursday- frozen burritos

Friday- veggie burgers, fries

Saturday- salad bar- all the salad fixings I can dig up

Ok, I gotta run. We are watching a grown up movie tonight, woohoo!

I Will Survive---teehee

I Will Survive (the first year of homeschooling)
Originally written and produced by Freddie Perren and Dino Fekaris
Originally performed by Gloria Gaynor
Mercilessly altered with apologies by Natalie Criss

======================================

First I was afraid
I was petrified.
Kept thinking I could never teach
'Cause I'm not certified.
But we spent so many nights
Reteaching homework that was wrong.
I grew strong,
so now I teach my kids at home!
We study math
and outer space.
I just kept on despite the fear
with a big smile across my face.
I bought a set of Base Ten blocks.
I bought books with answer keys.
My parents think we're nuts,
but they don't even bother me


Come on, let's go walk out the door.
We're on the road now,
'cause we're not home much anymore
My friends would laugh and say we'd be unsocialized.
I heard one mumble
that I'd give up by July.
Oh no, not I!
I will survive!
As long as I know how to read
I know we'll be alright.
I've got all my life to learn.
I've got energy to burn.
and I'll survive.
I will survive.

It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart.
Decided to attend
a play date at the local park,
and I met oh so many moms
who offered eagerly to help.
They used to cry.
Now they hold their heads up high,
and so do we!
My kids are cool!
They're not those chained up little people
stuck inside at school.
So if you feel like dropping by
and just expect us to be free
you'd better call ahead first
'cause we're probably busy

We don't need no stinkin' grammar.

On the homeschool waiver form we have to fill out for our school district every year....

"Please print clearly and legible."

Our first day of school

I've been trying to post these all week, but my camera disappeared on me and then mysteriously turned up in the diaper bag last night.

Here's how our days seem to be unfolding this year.

I get up at 6 and brew coffee and have my prayer time. I *love* this time of the day, that's the only reason I would get up so early. I find I start the day in a foul mood if I don't beat the kids out of bed. Some mornings it doesn't work. This particular morning both Jack and Tess joined me almost immediately, and some time later so did Kain. But I try, and most mornings it works. Don't be impressed that I get up early when I don't have to. I have become a morning person in my old age. By 5pm my brain is mush and I am useless for anything. At 7, I put out hot cocoa and breakfast and wake up anyone still asleep (often Kain, almost always Maria). We eat and get dressed and do a few chores.

We start school at 8:30. I work with Kain for an hour starting with math because it takes the longest. Maria entertains Jack for half an hour and then works on her schoolwork independently. After Kain's hour, I "do school" with Jack for an hour. Mostly this means playtime. I usually choose the first activity, maybe a new learning activity or puzzle he can't do on his own, something like that. We do that for as long as his attention holds and then we just play whatever he wants for a bit. Then we finish up with reading some picture books. Tess usually wants to nurse at some point during all of this. Around 10, I give a morning snack to anyone interested and Maria works for 30 minutes on either typing, music, or art. Jack plays on his own while I finish up school with Kain. Once math is done it moves pretty quickly. Then I work with Maria for an hour, starting with Latin because that's what usually takes the longest. Kain is assigned to keep Jack entertained for half an hour during this time, and then he works on his independent schoolwork. Usually this is a math worksheet and either a music worksheet or map skills. At noon, Maria returns to her independent work, Kain and Jack play whatever, and I get lunch together and do a few chores.

At 12:30 we have lunch and then at 1pm we have an hour of reading and rest time. That's when I usually have my computer time, if Tess will cooperate. After rest time, I sit and read with Kain for science or history and a chapter out of our current read aloud. Jack plays or colors and listens. Maria finishes up any schoolwork. At 2:30 we have tea time. Sometimes this actually involves tea. :) Mostly it means a goodie of some kind and a read aloud to do with the liturgical year or some other kind of devotional book. On our first day of school, we read Juanita and the Angels. After tea time, we are supposed to all go outside for an hour, though I've been wimping out on this because of the extreme hotness. Today we watched The Waterhorse instead.

Then our school day is officially over. As you can see, though, there're a lot of breaks. Kain probably spends 2-3 hours with actual schoolwork, and Maria 3-4 hours. At this point, I work on chores, my to-do list, getting dinner together, etc. I like to leave plenty of time for that because Tess will interrupt and often Jack will too. Kain and Maria pick up their "zones", pick up their bedrooms, and then have a couple hours of freetime. We have dinner at 6, then baths for little people (Maria now showers in the morning), stories (this time of their choosing, unlike the reading during the day that I usually pick), prayers, and bedtime at 8. Maria stays up until 9 or so and I often do a read aloud with her after the boys are in bed. Right now we are still working our way through the Narnia series. I stay up until 10 or so, finishing up some things if I have the energy, maybe watching a movie with John or having some computer time if I don't.

I do make up a paper schedule for the day, but of course this is just an "ideal" to shoot for. The first day actually came pretty close. The second day was much harder...Kain was in one of his moods and I fought tooth and nail with him all day long. Today has been better. I try not to fall apart when things don't go according to plan, because they often don't.

Ok, now for those first day pics...


I always get a few fun things for the school year and set them up on the table the night before our first day. Everyone got new puzzles this year, and a Mille Borne game for us all. They always get new placemats from Rainbow Resource Center too. Some years we have done art supplies, or new backpacks and lunchbags to take to co-op days.


Our whiteboard.

School books for this year. Up on the very top is a cd player, a bunch of music, and my paper files for the current school year. The top shelf is mine, the second is Maria's, then Kain's, the Math U See blocks and a few workbook-y type things for Jack for when he wants to "do school", and the bottom shelf has a set of World Books recently given to us by a sweet homeschooling friend who's youngest student has outgrown them.


Some people want to know what Jack does while we are doing school...he has his own work to do too. I set up a couple of shelves with Montessori type activities,


And when he tires of that he just generally brings out every toy he can find and trashes them room.


A cute pic of Kain and Tess. Tess just gets toted around with me when she's not sleeping,,,and sometimes when she is. We have a portacrib next to the school table with her playgym in it, but that'll only buy me 10 minutes or so.


Kain's new obsession, Pokemon coloring pages. He made himself a book of them while listening to this week's music appreciation. Pokemon and Tchaikovsky...what a combo.


Maria at lunch. The first day was tiring. Our brain's were fried by this point.


ABC brownies. Monday was also Jack's name day, so we needed a special dessert for tea time to celebrate. Brownies are his absolute favorite.


Pizza for dinner, also for Jack's name day.


Our August altar. It's a Marian one, obviously, August being the month of the Immaculate Heart of Mary and a few feast days as well.

There's no pics of them doing actual schoolwork because our school table is in front of a window and the lighting came out all weird. Anyway, that's a peek into school around here. I'll do a day in the life post again soon I think.

AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!

(sigh)
We are starting our new school year on Monday.
Ask me if I'm ready....

This is earlier than usual,,,in the past we have started after Labor Day. But we haven't done school since Tess was born, and I've had all the vacation I can stand. We still plan to school more or less year round. We will break for Christmas when we finish week 16 of our syllabus, or not until Christmas Eve if life should intervene too much. We'll take off until after Epiphany, then work until we finish week 24, or not until the start of Holy Week if life intervenes too much. And then we'll start up after the first week of Easter and work until we finish the syllabus. Or until July 4th, if life intervenes too much. Sensing a pattern? Life does intervene. Being able to handle that is part of homeschooling. So far we have homeschooled through moves, hospitalizations of myself and extended family, an extended illness and death in the family, and two pregnancies/births. Life does often intervene. Having such a loose schedule works better for us in other ways too. The kids don't handle long breaks well, and neither do I. I can, and do, often call off school to go do something fun, and I don't think twice about it because I know I have a lot of wiggle room. With our scheduled breaks at Christmas, Easter, and summer, we still have 44 weeks left to complete a 32 week syllabus. If life does intervene and the timing gets too tight, I am less likely to take the opportunities, but in less chaotic years we have lots of small breaks through the year for different opportunities that come up. In very chaotic years we end up behind when the end of June approaches, and I nip and tuck and do what I can with a promise to myself to make up for it next year.

The kids were in VBS last week and I was all kinds of excited about this 3 hours of free time, but it wasn't the boon I expected. First of all, I had to stay with Jack during the first 30 minutes until they finished their opening stuff and moved into classrooms because of Jack's tendency, as one woman in the parish put it, to "go on walkabout". Then I would come home, nurse Tess and get her down to sleep, and if I was lucky I'd have two of the three hours left to do some work before I had to leave to pick everyone up. It helped, don't get me wrong. I was able to do some things like cleaning and organizing the play/school room and the big walk-in closet that stores toys...I can never do stuff like that with Jack around as he takes offense at having his toys where he can't see them. I also was able to go through and do a lot towards getting our new materials ready to go. But I have plenty left to do this weekend, that's for sure!

This year Maria will be in sixth grade and Kain will be making a jump over second grade into third, where he is "supposed" to be. Kain will be nine in February and he's behind a grade because no one enrolled him in kindergarten the year before he came to live with us. It really bothers him to be a year behind, even when homeschooling. There are plenty of places (like VBS) where kids are divided by grade level, and he is always much older and bigger than anyone else. He did really well last year with his schoolwork. His reading ability is awesome. So, we are jumping as far as our curriculum is concerned. "Officially", though, he will be a second grader. Third graders have to start standardized testing in our state, and I don't want to have to worry about that with him this year. If the transition goes well, then I'll register him as a fourth grader next year. He will still be a second grader in our parish as well because he will be receiving his first communion this year!!!! Woohoo!

We are pretty much following the Mother of Divine Grace syllabi completely this year, though there are a couple of modifications for Maria. She will continue to use Math U See instead of the recommended Saxon. She loves Math U See, but I'd like her to be in Saxon for the upper level maths....we'll see. I'm hoping to have her finish Math U See Zeta in time to start Saxon 87 next year. She will also be using Calculadder for drill. She will be using Phonetic Zoo again for spelling. She loves this program and it seems to be working for her as well as anything can. Maria, for the uninformed, has some visual learning issues that give her dyslexic-type symptoms and make reading, spelling and writing especially difficult, though she does now perform on grade level for everything but spelling. Spelling as always been the most difficult subject for her. Phonetic Zoo is an auditory program and works much better for her than workbooks. This year will be a big jump for her too. I have always heavily modified the syllabus for her, but now that she is done with vision therapy I would like to try to follow it as is as much as possible and see how she can handle it.

Kain should be able to work right along the MODG 3rd grade syllabus. He will be using Saxon 3 for math though, and we will have to progress carefully through it to make sure he handles skipping a grade ok. MODG recommends Abeka math for 1st-3rd grades, mostly because Saxon is so mom-intensive, but I already have the Saxon materials and Kain likes Saxon for all the fun manipulative stuff. I can see how Saxon, in the early grades at least, wouldn't work if you were homeschooling several young ones though. Kain will also need to use Handwriting Without Tears. He has small motor skill issues that he is in occupational therapy for, and writing is *very tedious* and slow for him...so slow that he is still finishing the HWT first grade book, which is just as well because he will not be ready to start cursive anytime soon. I am going to try to do the written work suggested in different subjects in the 3rd grade syllabus, but we may need to adjust this for him and do some orally. We'll see.

Jack...Jack will be four in October. I had intended to start the Little Saints curriculum with him and do it over two years, but I think we will just wait and do it next year. I have quite a bit of Montessori-type materials for him to use, and geez, he already knows all of his letters and numbers, etc. With Tess, and with the big jump Kain and Maria are making this year, and Kain's three hours of therapy a week, I just think I will have my hands full enough. I do have some Kumon workbooks and that kind of thing and have put together his own school notebook like the big kids have, but this is mostly just so he can have something to do when he wants to sit at the table with us and "do school". His motor skills are not great, and I think he will benefit from the Montessori stuff more than anything. He is super advanced as far as pre-kinder skills go, recognizes all his upper and lowercase letters, knows the sounds they make, words that start with each letter, counts and recognizes numbers up to 30, etc., so I'm not worried about that. But he can't do more than scribble with a crayon! A little lop-sided, this one.

Tess, of course, will not be hitting the books or anything quite yet. :) I will be playing with her using Slow and Steady Get Me Ready, a great little book with weekly learning ideas for newborns to 5 year olds. I still use this great resource with Jack too.

I'd like to post some pictures of our schoolroom, but we *still* haven't painted...that was supposed to happen while the kids were in VBS, but the gallbladder surgery threw everything off and left me behind getting my materials ready so I had to do that instead. I'm hoping to do that one weekend soon though. We have some new organizational ideas we are trying out this year, including Avilian notebooks...more on that to come! Now, I'm off to work....

The Paul Wall

Here is the beginning of a year long project we just started...The Paul Wall. Or, alternately, The Wall of Paul.I haven't decided which one I like better yet. :)

Pope Benedict declared this year, the 2000th anniversary of St. Paul's birth, to be a special year dedicated to him. There has been discussion on the 4real learning forums of ideas for celebrating this jubilee, including a year's worth of weekly scripture readings. I decided to make a timeline using these readings....


Very humbly done, so excuse that, I've just been throwing it together while the kids have been in VBS this week. We are already getting a late start, the year actually started at the end of June, so I wanted to get this going quickly. Each of the little cards along the timeline has one scripture story about St. Paul's life. The symbol at the top is the Vatican symbol for the Pauline Year. The poster underneath is free for the printing here. And above the first card on the timeline you see our first illustration. Each week we will read the scripture and the kids will take turns illustrating it and posting it above the card. There are cards and there will be pictures along the top and bottom of the timeline, hence all the free wall space at the moment. This is also just half of the timeline. When we are finished, I will add the other half below our poster.

We will also do an art study with this with St. Paul art prints posted on the 4real learning website. I plan to print one a month and put them up them on either side of our poster, 8 altogether. Someone is publishing a Pauline Year lapbook I'm hoping to work on during Easter break, and St. Nick will be bringing this board game on his feast day. Cool, huh? Can't take much credit for it, so much of it came from the 4real learning forums! Thanks ladies!I know it doesn't look like a whole lot yet, but I think it will look great as the year goes by and it fills out a bit.

Tess turns two months old

My little Miss Sunshine,
This time two months ago I was trying to imagine what your face would look like, what your personality would be like, even whether you were a boy or a girl! You were completely unknown. And now we already can't imagine life without you. At two months, you already have learned to use your hands to swing at toys...



You can even manage to suck your fingers, and your favorites are always the two middle ones on your left hand.


Mostly you just light up our days with your almost constant smiles and laughs.


I love you Sunshine!

quote from my inbox

God is there in these moments of rest and can
give us in a single instant exactly what we
need. Then the rest of the day can take its
course, under the same effort and strain,
perhaps, but in peace. And when night comes,
and you look back over the day and see how
fragmentary everything has been, and how
much you planned that has gone undone, and
all the reasons you have to be embarrassed
and ashamed:
Just take everything exactly as it is, put it
in God's hands and leave it with Him. Then
you will be able to rest in Him - really
rest - and start the next day as a new life.

- Edith Stein

Where, oh where, has Melanie gone.....

Hello out there!
I am still around!
My gallbladder, which started acting ugly during my last trimester with Tess, finally got evicted last week. It was acting up terribly and making me cranky and sick,,,so out it went. I'm recovering, doing pretty well, and hope to be back to posting here as soon as I empty out my inbox.

Girls' day out, and the grocery pinch

Yesterday was my big grocery shopping day. Once a pay period I plan two weeks worth of meals and make a big shopping trip. Maria is my shopping buddy. It's a chance for some girl time. This time she also had several allowances saved up and wanted to go to Build a Bear, so we decided to make this an official girls' day out and go to Olive Garden for lunch as well. Tess, of course, came along because we travel as a unit. The boys stayed home with Dad. I go to great pains to avoid taking them on the big shopping trip. It's not that they behave horribly in the store or anything,,,but it's a long trip and I have a long list to concentrate on. Plus, logistically, I need the room in the van, and I often have two shopping carts full of food to pull out of the store...the logistics of it all get pretty complicated. I realize this statement will offend some of you more girly people out there, but...I *hate* shopping. I really do. I don't mind shopping online, but I hate real life shopping, I hate the crowds, the lights, the noise, the constant not so subtle push to BUY THIS THING RIGHT HERE, YOU NEED IT!, everything. It's all too overstimulating for me, all of it, whether it's walmart or the mall or whatever. I hate it so much whole years will go by without me setting foot inside a shopping mall. There are a couple of stores I enjoy. I love book stores. I love Hobby Lobby. I love educational supply stores. Other than an occasional stop at one of those places, I avoid any unnecessary shopping trips. If walmart ever develops online shopping, where you can shop online and have the groceries delivered to your door, I am SO THERE. With bells on.

So, anyway, we went to Olive Garden for soup, salad, breadsticks, and gelato. Maria insisted that Tess' carseat sit in the booth next to her and I smiled at the obvious way she would take her out of her seat and then talk loudly to her, looking around to make sure everyone near us was watching her and her new baby sister and appreciating the cuteness of them both. The service was very slow, and by the time we were done I was already ready to go home. What a party pooper, huh? It had also been library day, so we had already been on the run all morning and I had had enough fun. But we carried on to that mecca of consumerism, the shopping mall. This one, thankfully, is an outside mall, allowing you to park outside your store of choice. Maria had $36 to spend, a small fortune to her but to Build A Bear, not so much. She carefully picked a panda to stuff, then chose a High School Musical tshirt, a denim skirt, a pink sequined microphone, and two flowered scrunchies to wrap around the bear's ears. She named her new friend "Sharpay", of High School Musical fame of course. I was proud of her for not trying to talk me into buying more than she had saved up for.

I nursed Tess in the mall parking lot, and then we headed for Aldi. I am on an Aldi experiment. I hadn't been there in a long time because I wasn't convinced that there was much money to be saved compared to Walmart, but given the recent grocery pinch I was trying it again. I'm still unconvinced that it's worth an extra stop. Their bags of chicken breasts are quite a bit cheaper, and their produce prices are good, but the biggest savings are to be had with convenience foods, and I just don't buy much of that stuff. So, I picked up some chicken, some produce, some granola and cereal bars for portable snacks when we are out of the house, some junky food to take to the lake next week...and we headed off to walmart to finish out the list. By the time we were checking out, I was completely depleted. Everything in my body hurt. Even Maria was worn out. Tess was *unbelievably* good. I can't get over how peaceful and happy a temperament this baby has. She'd been dragged all over the place all day long, putting up with late diaper changes and rushed nursings, and she was just happy as a clam at the end of it all, cooing and smiling in her seat.

The grocery total...at the end of it all, I dropped $292 for two weeks worth of groceries, including the nonfood stuff like cat food and all of that. I will need to get milk, yogurt, and butter at Braum's, plus make another run next week for more milk and more produce, so I figure we're running around $340 for two weeks of groceries for 6 people, one of whom doesn't even eat yet. Ouch. There were unusual expenses...food for the lake, a new broom, a handful of school supplies that were on sale, etc., but honestly, there's always *something* "unusual" to buy for. I have always grocery shopped pretty carefully, but I think the time has come to start making cheaper meals and keeping a price book. We are spending $200 more than this time last year on groceries...my budget is screaming! But I'm not really sure how to make cheaper meals. It's not like we're buying T-bone steaks and such, you know? I will often buy a roast or something, but we will get a couple of meals out of it, or, for example, I bought a 1 1/2 pound package of round steak, not as cheap as beans and rice, certainly, but I will make two meals out of it, using a pound for stir fry and half a pound for soup. Feeding five people (ok, four really, Jack eats next to nothing) twice on 1 1/2 pounds of meat is pretty danged good, I think! Anyway, feel free to share your grocery pinch stories below....

By the time we got home it was after 7pm. Including the library trip, we had been out of the house since 10:30 that morning. The guys unloaded the groceries while I quickly put them away and tried to ignore the mess in the kitchen. Maria nuked a quick, late dinner for everyone and John and I threw the boys to bed. I settled on the couch with still smiling Tess for a long, long nursing, complete with lots of talking, cooing, and then snuggling to sleep. She sure earned it, God love her.

nursing is fun...

because sometimes you'll be nursing and reading something at the same time, and you'll realize that the baby isn't nursing anymore, and you'll look down to see this smiling up at you...

Don't hate me, but....

I have a baby that sleeps. I mean, really, really sleeps. Last night she fell asleep around 10pm. She's *still* asleep. She slept ALL NIGHT. I had to wake her up at 5am because *I* couldn't stand it anymore...I woke up with rock hard breasts and milk leaking everywhere...I could barely get her to wake up and nurse much at all! She kept falling asleep! And then I put her back down and she's STILL ASLEEP! Wild...

Anyway, don't hate me, because I've had my share of babies that don't sleep, believe me...I had this coming.

Oh, and while I'm thinking about it, random pic...here I am reading The Very Grouchy Ladybug to Tess...see what good parents we are? I expect her to be reading soon....



hehe...I'm kidding, actually I was reading to Jack, Tess was just along for the ride. I'm really not in the "baby genius" crowd. But it occurs to me how cool it is that these little kids of mine will be exposed to so much good literature so early due to homeschooling...Tess will hear me read Sarah, Plain and Tall, and Little House in the Big Woods to Kain this year, hear us drill his phonograms and spelling words, read about thunderstorms and earthworms, and she'll hear me decline Latin vocabulary with Maria, help her write papers on the Gospel of St. Luke, hear us discuss the Hittite Warrior, etc.

I had my 6 week postpartum check-up yesterday. There was a little issue...this is the visit where they want to have THE TALK,,,you know the one where they go, "Ok, so congratulations on that beautiful baby, she's great, now WHAT are you going to do to make sure this doesn't happen again?" I told her we weren't going to do anything. Really. The look she gave me immediately told me how stupid and naive she thought I was. In the past, you see, my cycles have stopped for several months due to breastfeeding, and we seem to have some fertility issues anyway. I mean, we didn't "do anything" after Jack was born and he and Tess are three years apart, know what I mean? And if we felt the need to "do anything" at all, it would be natural family planning of course. But right now...we don't plan to do anything. Yes, yes, I do realize that just because doing NOTHING worked fine for us before doesn't mean I won't become pregnant again sooner than later...and it probably doesn't help delay my fertility by having a 6 week old that sleeps through the night! But we've decided, at this point anyway, that we are comfortable leaving such things in God's hands. I would feel really overwhelmed and vaguely nauseous if I got pregnant with a little "Irish twin", for sure. But I wouldn't be mixing up cyanide kool-aid or anything if I did manage to get pregnant right away, you know?

She assured me that I definitely needed to DO SOMETHING, and told me the best thing to do, since I was breastfeeding and all, would be to use condoms. I didn't respond at all. I know I should have said something, like, "Thanks, we're Catholic and don't use contraception, and really condoms are barely any better than doing NOTHING, aren't they? If we wanted to do SOMETHING, natural family planning would be a far more effective SOMETHING."

Not to mention that I find condoms repulsive, mostly because what an obvious and blatant slap in the face of the marriage covenant, you know? Like, "We interrupt this marriage act and renewal of our sacramental vows before God to get up and physically put a barrier between us that will allow us to blatantly and obviously attempt to remove our God-given creative powers and yet still allow us to get our groove on." I mean, I know all artificial contraception does this, and I guess at least condoms aren't abortifacients like the pill, but they are still a mortal sin, and I find them personally repulsive because they are just so...RIGHT THERE. Anyway...sorry, off on a tangent...some of you might not read this blog to hear about my sexual beliefs and preferences. But, hey, it IS a Catholic blog, says so right in the title up there...

I didn't say anything, because as usual in situations like that I can't think of anything appropriate to say until I'm in the car 20 minutes later, especially with my 3 kids running around the place and Tess desperately trying to nurse after the long car ride out there. My mind was just blank as I fumbled to come up with an appropriate response. So, I preoccupied myself with latching Tess on and she briskly moved on to other topics. Later, I saw she had written on my chart that I had selected condoms as my form of birth control. Grrrr. I should have said SOMETHING!