Saturday, August 18, 2007

holier than thou art

Lest you think we are all kinds of pious around here for managing the almost-daily rosary in the car, here's a take for what it sounded like in my car yesterday....

Me- OK, Maria, your turn to lead.

Maria- Ok, um....(much rustling and fussing with the holy card we keep in the car that lists the mysteries)..the second sorrowful mystery, The Scourging at the Parlor.

Me- It's "pillar",,,,The Scourging at the Pillar. He's going to be beaten, not have tea.

Maria- (guilty giggling, not really sure if she should laugh at the mental image this brings)

Me- Ok, let's go, Our Father...

Maria- Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name...KAIN, YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY IT YET!...thy kingdom come...KAIN! MOM TELL HIM NOT NOW!!!...

Me- (I whisper in a hiss)...leave him alone! At least he's participating this time! He'll pick up all of that later, right now he's learning the prayers

Maria- (heavy sigh of disgust at not following "the rules") thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread....KAIN! NOW YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SAY IT!

Me- QUIT correcting him! I am the mom, and I am right here! I will correct him if I think he needs it! Just LEAD THE DECADE!!!! KAIN, QUIT LASSOING JACK WITH YOUR ROSARY!!

Kain- Jack plays with his rosary!

Me- Jack is two! He will learn how to handle it properly by watching you, now set a GOOD EXAMPLE! (giant sigh and huge mental effort to quit hollering). Maria, (I say very calmly) please finish the decade, and do not stop unless the car is on fire.

Maria- Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses...

Jack- DONALDS! DONALDS, DONALDS, DONALDS! (we are stopped at an intersection with McDonalds)

Me- Just ignore him, keep going..

Maria- as we forgive those who trespass against us...

Kain- Punch Buggy!

Me- heavy sigh, but decide to let it go

Kain- Punch Buggy, Punch Buggy, Punch Buggy, Punch Buggy, Punch...

Me- KAIN! (we were, no joke, passing a VW dealership) Ok, no more Punch Buggy-ing during the rosary.

Kain- Aunt Mel! You HAVE to say Punch Buggy if you see a Punch Buggy! That's the RULE!

Me- Well, the rules during the rosary are NO PUNCH BUGGY! And prayer rules are more important than Punch Buggy rules! Maria, GO!

Maria- and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil


It's not always this bad. Many days there is near silence and it goes really smoothly. Seems to depend on the moods of the kids, and the moods of the mom. I was in a bit of an impatient mood yesterday, so it was all irritating, but funny now. Later on we had a nice moment when Kain agreed to lead his own decade for the first time...sort of

Kain- Our Father, who art in heaven....AUNT MEL, YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!

Me- You were just saying it by yourself, you know these prayers!


Me- Ok, ok...Hallowed be thy name...

Kain- Hallowed be thy name...

Me- Thy kingdom come, thy will be done... (suppressed sigh)

Kain- Thy kingdom come, they will be done...

Me- On Earth as it is in Heaven

Kain- On Earth as it is in Heaven

Yadda, yadda,,,you know the rest. Painfully slow, I know, but since this was the first time he'd ever had any interest in leading and I didn't want to squash it. Later, on the last half of the decade, he decided he did know the Hail Mary well enough and wanted to lead on his own...

Kain, in his heavy lisp- Holy Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed is thy womb, Jesus...

Me- (grinning at his attempt and elbowing Maria to keep quiet about his mistakes) Great job Kain!!! Just four more!

Jack- DONALDS! DONALDS, DONALDS, DONALDS! (as we pass *another* McDonald's).

It is very distracting for me to say the rosary this way of course, and I don't feel like I get much from praying it. Between keeping the prayer moving, fielding interruptions, and, oh yeah, the actual DRIVING of the car, it's very much a rote prayer for me, not much meditation going on or anything. But this is the only way we've consistently gotten it done, and much like going to mass, prayer with the children is not for me but for them. Or, at least not for me in the way that praying the rosary alone would be...because I know, really, praying with them *is* very much for me in a different way. I am a horribly impatient person by nature. Every time I manage to squash my irritation and respond well to my kids, I grow up a little bit too.


Entropy said...

There are no words except that's totally how it'd go at my house. You're not alone. Hhahahahaha.

Terimisu said...

Your blog is always so fun to read!! It always cracks me up :-) and makes me miss living next door to you :-(

Kelly said...

LOL! How funny - and how true. You really do need to write a book for all the poor moms who haven't found your blog yet - they need to laugh out loud too you know!

Shelly said...

Hilarious! Very sweet and veryyyyy funny!