my not giving birth saga

My original due date is Monday,,,Memorial Day. My "other" due date (determined by early ultrasound) is almost a week past. Usually I consider my original one more accurate, but this time it was a total guess, that date. I hadn't been watching my cycles *at all*, so when I realized we were expecting we kind of determined a likely window and then I picked a date that was generous, knowing that I tend to go late and freak out midwives and such. So, this time, I (secretly) considered the ultrasound due date to be more accurate.

So, here I am. A few days to my due date, or a few days past it, depending on your date of choice. I have had just enough going on to keep me in hopes that labor is trying to start. My labors are sad and piddly and slow...eternal, really. Henry was the exception, my castor oil induction baby, and so I'm not sure if this one will be quick when it finally gets going or if Henry was just quick because of the castor oil.

Anyway, on the 20th, 5 days ago, I started having strongish contractions after going to bed..this was around 11pm. I went to sleep and woke up around 4am with more contractions. I traveled to the couch and dozed off again until Jack woke up at 7. They had (annoyingly) puttered out at that point. So, believing that I was close and knowing the doctor had talked about possibly inducing at that week's appointment, I decided to try castor oil. It worked like a charm with Henry. Around 1pm I started dosing. At 3:30pm, three doses later, I couldn't take anymore of it. I had a lot of cramping, some irregular contractions, and lots of "returns" from the castor oil..much more difficult than I remember it being with Henry. Around 5pm the contractions got stronger and more regular, but by 9:30 they had puttered out again. Sigh. I went to bed, up again at 5am on the 22nd with more sad returns from the castor oil, but no contractions at all. I tried walking a lot that day, on walking trails, around Lowes, etc.,,,that triggered some contractions but they didn't stick.

The next day, the 23rd, was my OB appointment. She told me I was still just a fingertip dilated, maybe 25% effaced, but soft. She did a nonstress test (I've had some extra fluid), which was fine, and we told her we wanted to hold off on inducing, something which was difficult to say because I am *so dang tired of this*, but it's true, I really don't want an induction. She said she would give us two more weeks as long as baby is doing ok. That evening I started contracting around dinnertime, and they fizzled again when I went to sleep. The following morning (which would have been yesterday), I woke up to find a tiny bit of mucus plug had passed and was very excited about this...prematurely, it turns out. I felt very crampy across my lower belly and back all day, but otherwise, nada, not even any real contractions. This morning was the same. I woke up to a tiny bit of of mucus plug, and I even think my water might be leaking, but other than a very few contractions, there's not much else going on.

It's all very frustrating. I'm very uncomfortable, my belly feels very irritable, especially when there is a child trying to climb on it, which is most of the time. I am tired of sitting in baby limbo. I'm not sleeping well and have been waking up very early and unable to go back to sleep, and then during the day I fall asleep every time I sit down. I'm ready for this baby to come. Now, please.