Friday, June 19, 2009

a loss of hope

When I said that we had not had any catastrophes happen, that was not entirely true.

Kain's mother died. It happened last weekend, she died of a stroke, secondary to a drug overdose. That's all I really know. My brother tells me he doesn't know anymore details. I don't really believe that, but that's what he's telling me. Kain doesn't know yet. We have been hemming and hawing, talking it over with his therapists, etc., and the end result is that we are going to hold the drug overdose part until he gets a little older...he doesn't even really understand what illegal drugs are, so it would be really difficult for him to understand right now.

We are going to tell him she died of a stroke, which is true enough for now. I talked to my brother about it one last time this evening, and he told me to just go ahead and tell him. I didn't do it. Not tonight. He's had a really good day, his best couple of days in a long time, actually, and I want him to go to sleep happy. I want to tuck him in and give him one more night to sleep with his hopes that one day his life will go back the way it used to be, that things will work out in the end, that his mother will get herself together and get him and his siblings back. Even though he hasn't even seen his mom in two years, I know that's what he wants and what he still hopes for. I know the hardest thing for him to handle is going to be losing that hope, coming one more step closer to realizing that the best he's going to get in this life is to be raised by an aunt and uncle that he really doesn't want to be with...not because he doesn't love us, but because we just aren't his mom and dad. He wants his mom. And now that can never happen. And I will be the one to tell him. God, give me the right words, if there are any, to tell a child that their mother has died.

Please pray for her.

9 comments:

J.C. said...

Oh, Mel, that's so hard. Prayers for you, for Kain and his mother. God bless.

Angela M. said...

Oh Mel, this is so very sad. The only good thing is that hopefully she has found peace.

I know this sounds crazy but my first thought was - consecrate Kain to the Blessed Mother's care.

You've been amazing during this whole journey and God has a special place reserved in heaven for moms like you.

I am asking for special intercession from St. Gianna and Our Lady for you, Kain and your family. I am dedicating a Divine Mercy novena to Kain's mom and your family.

God love you Mel. You are one special lady.

Angela

carmelitemom said...

I will lift you all up in prayer to the Most Immaculate Heart of Mary. There she will enclose you in her mother's heart. Pray to the Holy Spirit for the right words to say.

Sara said...

I'll pray a novena of Divine Mercy chaplets as well! And I'll ask St. John of God to pray for Kain. 2reasons - Jesus gave him a do-over, and he has a special tenderness about him that makes me want to entrust children to his care.

mel said...

Thank you, everyone, for your prayers. I did tell him, and he was very quiet and sad yesterday. But he seems to be ok.We did talk about consecrating him to the Blessed Mother, that's a great idea, I think we will do that. And we are going to have some masses said too. He was impressed that if we did that her name would be in the bulletin., lol. I will add St. John of God to our army of "Kain saints". :) He is a good one.

Charlotte said...

Melanie,
I pray that someday Kain understands how much "hope" you have given him by caring for him. I'll say a prayer for you all.
Charlotte

mysteryhistorymom said...

Mel- I am so sorry! I will be praying for her and your whole family... Lori

Terimisu said...

OMG Melanie I just read this and my heart is so heavy. Poor Kain, Poor you for having to tell him. I was happy when I read he took it ok and wants to see her name in the bulletin. sweet. love you guys and I will be praying for Kain and for your family.

mel said...

Thanks, everyone, for your prayers and thoughts.