Death of a pumpkin....a photo essay

Tess at 5 months

Tessie turned 5 months old at the end of October, so I've been meaning to post something "official" about it. Here's a little milestone,,,we tried to have her first sitting up bath....




...it didn't go to well. She's still pretty slumpy when sitting up, she leans forward really badly, so I had to help her out after a few minutes. Mostly she seemed pretty bewildered by the whole thing. We'll try again in a few weeks. She also rolled over from back to front the other day, and it was really funny because she hates being on her belly. So she would roll over, and then immediately start to fuss about being on her belly. I'd roll her back, and then she'd roll over and start to fuss again.

Tess is still an angel baby. She's incredibly sweet tempered and very doted on. She rarely cries, and rarely needs to with so many people in this house ready to pounce when she makes the slightest noise. She's very vocal like Maria was as a baby, loves to chatter, and I'm sure she'll be an early talker like Maria was.

I need to give a shout out...

to my Grandma, my dad's mom, who reads this blog, the only family member who regularly does, can you believe it? Because my parents don't have regular computer access, what with living in the woods and building a house and all, and my mother's mother would never, ever own a computer. She doesn't even have one of those new- fangled ATM cards. I've tried to sell John's family on the blog as a way to keep up with the kids, but as far as I know no one has bitten yet. Anyway, Happy Birthday Grandma, I'm so glad to know you enjoy the blog and seeing my babies. Here's some new and random pics from this fall I've been meaning to post. I haven't had a good reason to post them, so I'll post them for Grandma, who doesn't really need a reason!

My pretty girls...


Jack and my guitar...


Tess, asleep in the exersaucer. This is where she sits when I'm fixing dinner.


Tess, being cute...


Tess, curled up with a good book. We start 'em young.

and quotes

As always I rely heavily on those that say it so better than I,,,Mother Teresa, this time, my daughter's namesake.


"The so-called right to abortion has pitted mothers against their children and women against men. It has sown violence and discord at the heart of the most intimate human relationships. It has aggravated the derogation of the father's role in an increasingly fatherless society. It has portrayed the greatest of gifts -- a child -- as a competitor, an intrusion, and an inconvenience. It has nominally accorded mothers unfettered dominion over the independent lives of their physically dependent sons and daughters" ""But I feel that the greatest destroyer of peace today is abortion, because it is a war against the child - a direct killing of the innocent child - murder by the mother herself. And if we accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another?...Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching the people to love, but to use any violence to get what they want. That is why the greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion. " "It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."

The rare political rant

It's not that I'm surprised that Obama won. I'm really not. It's not that I'm not just a little tickled at thinking about all the racist folk around here squirming in their recliners as the polls rolled in. Even though I don't get a guy who is supposed to be such a hero for his race even though he is rabidly pro-choice, and that abortion now kills 50% of unborn African American children. What has really saddened and surprised me is that so very few people seemed to care or even know just how pro-choice this guy is. And I know that the majority of people out there, even the majority of Catholics, are pro-choice to some degree or another. I'm not talking a little pro-choice, if there can be any such thing, I'm talking about infanticide pro-choice. I'm talking scary, scary ethics and screwed up logic. And this was just a non-issue for practically everyone. During the exit polls last night, abortion was not an issue that was even ON THE LIST.

Why? Well, everyone's big concern is the economy, right? Money. Mammon. I'm not trying to trivialize the economy. We live so close to financial disaster in this house that I started crying when my husband told me that his brakes were going to have to be replaced before Christmas. So close that I get a little warm and giggly knowing that milk prices have gone down 30 cents a gallon. But we are talking about a man who believes that a late term baby that manages to survive an abortion procedure, that is BORN ALIVE should still die if the mother wills it so. That in one hospital, a child may lie dying from hypothermia and the effects of abortion, a thought that just makes me want to shrivel up and cry, while in that SAME HOSPITAL thousands of dollars a day might be spent to save a baby of the same gestational age, all based on whether that particular child's mother decides her baby is worth keeping alive? And this actually MAKES SENSE to people? I mean, even if you aren't pro-life, how does anyone actually make that giant leap of logic?

But we are worried about the economy, that's what matters. Apparently, that's all that matters. “Wherever your treasure lies, there will your heart be…"

Apparently our hearts are in our gas tanks. May God have mercy on us.

fall menus

I finally have posted my fall menus on the sidebar over there...
I still need some side dishes. I'm burned out on our old standby quickie side dishes and I'd love to come up with some more seasonal ones. Any favorites? Also, always looking for some more seasonal baked goodies... :)

Boo!

Wednesday night our parish had their Halloween party. I dislike parties that are not held on the Actual Day Of....like when they have fireworks on July 2nd instead of July 4th because the 4th is a weekday, or when the Church moves holy day masses around. I don't know why. Just my anal-retentiveness I guess. This year I get to be double irritated since our homeschool group's All Saints' Day party is NEXT Saturday instead of tomorrow. You know, like it's supposed to be. On All Saints' Day. Also, I get the fun of wrangling kids into costumes and out the door, and then settling sugar-loaded kids into bed, on two days instead of just one. But, anyway...I got over it. It is Halloween after all. Sugar-loaded fun is the whole point...that, and Mom being able to buy four bags of candy for the very few trick or treaters we actually get at our door. Because John and I split the leftovers between us, that's why!

So, we had costume issues with Maria this year. She scoured websites, looked in a couple of Large Chain Discount Stores, and could find nothing cool enough. She talked me into visiting one of these Halloween specialty stores. I've never actually been to one. Good thing, because it turns out that unless your girl child is under the age of 8, then she is pretty much going to be choosing from going as Raggedy Ann Turned Prostitute, Vampire Turned Prostitute, or my favorite, Nurse Turned Prostitute. They had costumes marketed by Play Boy. Seriously. I thought I had entered a totally different kind of store by mistake, until I saw the gallon sized containers of fake blood for sale.

Anyway, we settled on this half angel/half devil thing. It's ok. I'm not thrilled. It's vaguely suggestive in a "good girl gone bad" kind of way. It was the best I thought I could pull off at that point, just before Halloween, running out of time and options. She is still young (innocent) enough that she doesn't entirely get what bothered me about the costume. I probably should have just said no and left. But when you are stuck in a store with a whiny baby and a 4yo scared of the headless guy at the front door, and your 12yo is going PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE THIS IS SO COOL and really, it doesn't look so bad next to the other crap they have hanging on the walls,,,well, hindsight and all of that. But I told her next year we were back to making our own.

Notice how I have cropped it so that you can't see that the dress it really too short.

Kain is happy with anything that gives him an excuse to carry a weapon. So he was a ninja. He wore Maria's old karate uniform and some cool ninja gear his grandparents picked up for him.


Jack's lion costume was too, too cute. I love it when they are still little and they will wear whatever. I found this homemade costume at my favorite thrift store..someone with far better sewing skills than I possess made it, and God love them for donating it. My sensitive boy was a bit nervous when I asked him if he'd like to be a lion for Halloween. He said, "Will I bite me?" I said, "No, you'll be a nice lion." "Can I be a baby lion?" "Ok, sure, be a baby lion." And that was that. Baby lion....


Tess wore the same Halloween costume that Jack wore on his first Halloween. Jack, However, was only 3 weeks old when he wore it. It's a 6 month size, and we barely got her in it!


At our church party, they played games and got a bit of candy. Maria won a costume contest. Kain didn't want to stop playing games long enough to even enter! Jack just walked around the stage with his tootsie pop and then wandered away before the judging even got started.


Today we carved pumpkins....





but Jack thought it was way gross and went to jump on the trampoline with Daddy instead...


and we toasted seeds...


and went to a party with our homeschool group...



and then the kids went trick or treating with John.

I stayed home with Tess to pass out goodies to all four kids that came to the door.


John called after an hour or so and said Jack was falling apart, so I went to pick him up and left the big kids with John to finish making their haul. I brought Jack home, scrubbed grease paint off his face and stickiness from between his fingers, and we settled in to watch Linus wait for the Great Pumpkin until he fell asleep.

An hour and a half later, even the big ones had had enough. They knocked on the door, pretending to be actual trick or treaters, and I pretended not to know them and passed out candy, same goofy thing we do every year that they never seem to think gets old. Then they dug through their bags and began haggling. I dug through Jack's bag and saved the M and M's, little bags of pretzels, and lollipops for him, the only things he really likes, and tossed to rest to Maria and Kain to divvy up. They, in turn, tossed whatever they didn't want into the "parent bowl". They began to feast. After about 15 minutes, Kain announced that I should take his temperature because he didn't feel very good. He felt cool, and I expertly diagnosed him as having overdosed on too much sugar and too late a bedtime and tucked him in.

If tradition holds, each afternoon at snack time I'll let them break out their haul and have at it. Eventually, after they've eaten what they really like, they quit asking for their candy and I stash the dregs in a box in the kitchen. Then, when it's long forgotten and I'm tired of (grazing off it) looking at it, I toss it away. I'm always waiting for someone to come back in February and demand their 6 tootsie rolls and two laffy taffys, but so far it hasn't happened.

Irish dance class

I think it's going pretty well considering she's only been going 2 months! I know *I* couldn't do it, hehe.

honesty

Me, with an armful of Tess, to Jack, after successful maneuvering him into Maria's dance class during which he actually obeyed when I told him not to climb the pile of fill dirt in the parking lot and to stay with me in the bathroom stall----
"You are doing a great job of listening today! Good for you!

Jack- "I hate listening."

She CAN be taught

Maria hates Latin. Maria hates any schoolwork that stretches her a bit, that's why she hates Latin, but I love Latin for her for the same reason she hates it. Anyway, I guess it's sinking in in spite of herself. We were on our way to a field trip yesterday and saw a sign that said "Terra". She mumbled to herself, "Terra, means 'land or earth', terra, terrae, terrae, terram, terra, terrae, terrarum, terris, terras, terris."

The face of puberty

"This is true joy in life- the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature, instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy." --George Bernard Shaw

Heehee...is that not "the face of puberty"? A "little clod of ailments and grievances"?

Maria turned 12 in September. But she became a teenager a few days ago. We had our first real bout of teen angst, followed by a terse and irritated conversation that left us both in tears and surrounded by stony silence. Don't get me wrong, we've had the occasional hormonal tearfest here and there, but this was the first real moment that I've doubted myself in navigating these teenage years.

I am SO OVER raising a teenager already. (sigh) That's enough for me, thank you, please wake me when you turn 18.

No, it's ok. Since then we have restored ourselves, and we are fine. It's just painful,,,we are so close, but I found out the other day that we are not close enough to avoid this void of communication, this place where we don't understand each other all of the time anymore, this place where Mom is not enough anymore, where she decides that her life is, at least for the moment, completely unbearable and I'm sitting there thinking "Huh?"

And I try to understand. She's miserable over something that I, in my wise old age, think is completely inane, and I handle it badly, just trying to brush off what I see as irritating self-indulgent whininess. And by brushing it off I turn what could and should have been a chance for her to just vent about whatever is bothering her into this Major Lecture About What Mom Thinks Is Wrong With You. And those lectures always go well, yes? And just like that I've fallen into my own worse parenting trap of riding my kids too hard, of turning simple childish immaturity into a giant character issue to be conquered.

I remember being an angst-filled navel-gazing 12 year old. That's part of the problem, really, that part of being a teenager is being *so* focused on yourself and your own shortcomings, whether those shortcomings are from within or imposed on you by your unreasonable parents, and it takes a few years, or ten, to get that you are really ok, faults and all, and everyone else is too busy trying to schlep through life worrying about their own navel to care much about yours, and that you can be both very ordinary and very special at the same time.

"You come of the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve. And that is both honor enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth. Be content." Aslan, from Prince Caspian

book meme

Ok, the rules are, Grab the closest book to you, turn to page 56, start with the 5th sentence and post 2-5 paragraphs.

So, as soon as I saw that Lori was doing a book meme, I was hoping she would tag me. Because we are giant book nerds around here. And I'm sitting here at my desk, determined to be honest and not cheat with a better book, maybe a more intellectual one than I will find when I turn around,,,not be like, "Oh, look, I just happened to have this copy of The Gulag Archipelago here...", or cheat spiritually, "Oh, let me grab my copy of the Summa here by my feet..."

Ok, there's nothing on the computer desk...but behind me,,What a surprise! A children's book!

"I should be proud to see a fine nestful in my wood-shed. Oh, what would be a finer sight?"

Jemima Puddle-duck came every afternoon, and laid nine eggs in the nest. The foxy gentleman admired them immensely.

At last Jemima told the gentleman she was ready to sit on her eggs until they hatched.

'Madam,' he said, 'before you commence your tedious sitting I intend to give you a treat. Let us have a dinner party all to ourselves. May I ask you to bring some herbs from the farm garden to make, er...a savoury omelette? I will provide lard for the stuffing...I mean, omelette.'

Jemima Puddle-duch was a simpleton; she quite unsuspectingly went round nibbling snippets off all the different sorts of herbs that are used for stuffing roast duck."

I do love children's books, so much so that I hope I swing smoothly someday from mother into grandmother without a long lag in between so that I can continue reading them always and forever. Which is a distinct possibility since my oldest will be around 30 by the time Tess graduates from high school! Boy, is that weird to think about or what?

Who to tag, who to tag...long story, I haven't eaten dinner yet, can you imagine?, and I'm starving, and the oven just beeped that it's done preheating, and so, if you read this post hoping to be tagged too, then TAG, you are it!

Thrifty Thursday

Almost every piece of furniture we have in our house was handed down to us or bought used. I'm thinking now of what we have bought new...the table in our school room came from Wally World. Jack's toddler bed came from there too. The crib-turned-cosleeper Tess uses was bought new, as was the changing table, when I was pregnant with Jack. The mattresses on Kain's bed and on my bed were bought new. Oh, the toy bin shelf thingies in the school room...the craft table in the art room used to be my dinette table back in my single mom days. Our kitchen appliances were gifts from my inlaws. I think that's it. The hoosier cabinet in the art room, the washer and drier, the dining room table, the computer desk, the entertainment center, the living room tables, the recliner, the couch, all the dressers, Maria's bed, all the small-bookshelves-turned nightstands, even the lamps and the area rugs, all passed down from family or bought at thrift stores. Now, we are not picky about furniture. We have four kids and three cats and our furniture takes a beating. We are not wealthy people, and it would be a rather stupid waste of limited funds to buy an expensive couch just so I can experience the mini stroke that would be sure to occur the first time someone took a Sharpie to it. It brings me great peace of mind to know that when our current couch becomes too ugly and worn even for my "Early American Garage Sale" style of decorating, it is a small matter to put it at the curb and pick up another for $60 at the thrift store.

That being said, I do *love* pretty furniture. But used stuff, even really nice used stuff, can be bought for a fraction of the price of new stuff. When the day comes that I at least no longer have boys under the age of 10 around, I would like to upgrade. But, as I'm sure my funds will still be limited, I plan to upgrade to better used furniture, not new. "Used furniture" doesn't have to equal "ugly furniture". There is a market of decent stuff out there, including really solid older furniture, stuff with a look that says "vintage" instead of "Brady bunch throwback". I'd rather buy a used but well built sofa than a new cheap one, even if the costs are comparable between the two. After all, I imagine my future grandchildren won't be any kinder to furniture than my children are. The future cats, however, will be declawed.

Jack's turns 4, in pictures

We finally got to celebrate!!
It was a lovely day, very low stress and simple, the kind of sweet and easy celebration that is just enough for a four year old. We took cupcakes to a homeschool group park day....here's a bunch of random park pictures in no particular order...








Maria and Kain were there, of course, but they were running around with their friends and not often in camera shot.

That was enough to wear Jack out a bit...


And then we came home to open presents. Jack got some new books,

...including this one, Zin Zin Zin a Violin, is his new favorite and he knows it by heart already because we've checked it out from the library so many times.

And a new piece for his train set,


This character from his favorite PBS show, Word World. The letter pieces are magnetic and come apart.


How long do you think it took the older kids to do something gross with it?

Ok, that's a lie, I did that. What can I say, I'm a giant 8 year old. But they laughed! And they would have thought it up eventually, believe me.

He also got his first little scooter, which had to be put together and tried out right away.

I did get him a helmet too, sized for kids 5 and up, and it was way too small for his giant head. I have to exchange it. I figured the helmet was kind of overkill for such a little three wheeled scooter, and he would certainly be fine to ride the thing until I replaced the helmet. But of course, he immediately slipped off of back end of the scooter and cracked his head on the pavement! Oh, reckless mother!

We ended the day with dinner at the McDonald's playland, his favorite place on earth, and ice cream cones for dessert.


It's amazing to me, always, how different the kids are, their interests, their personalities. Maria loved arts and crafts from the time she was tiny. Jack could care less about such things. But he loves trains, cars, airplanes, and just about any type of vehicle, he loves books, loves letters and numbers, and he loves, loves, loves music. My parents got him this dvd for his birthday. I thought it was kind of an odd choice for a four year old, but he LOVES it and watches it every day, usually with his drum at hand so he can play along.


Jack is sweet, serious, quirky, and very bright. He loves to be outdoors more than anything else and he's always very busy when he's outside. He's a typical four year old, fiercely independent one minute and clinging to Momma the next. It's been a joy to watch his big boy personality evolve from his baby self.

Jack-isms

Upon returning home from a walk to the creek with Daddy...

"Momma, I'm all soggy and filfy with mud!"

The Good Wife

Please go read this over on Elizabeth Foss' blog. She is on bedrest right now in an effort to convince her sweet unborn baby to remain put for a while longer. She may be redefining her roles as a wife and mother right now, but she is shining as a writer, that's for sure. I think this may be the best piece she's ever written. Beautiful!

Thrifty Thursday. I mean, um, Friday.

I missed two Thursdays! Well!
My topic for this week is avoiding waste. And you are thinking, "OH MY, what thrify BRILLIANCE!" But really, I do try to go out of my way to avoid wasting anything. It drives me crazy, wasting stuff. My husband does not have the same aversion, but I am converting him. For example, Maria and I recently made these cinnamon and sugar biscuits recently from Jennie's blog. You are supposed to roll out the dough into a rectangle, then spread melted butter, cinnamon, and sugar in the center, then roll the whole thing up into a log, cut it into pieces, and bake them. But, as can happen with two chefs in the kitchen, I realized too late that the dough was too soft. When we rolled it up, it kind of softened and spread into a lump instead of a log. It was too late then to do much about it, so I went ahead and cut it into very messy pieces and baked them. They didn't much resemble biscuits. The vey soft dough spread far and flat and cooked into shingles, really, especially around the edges. They were still good though. Just very, very crunchy. And the melted butter/sugar basically cemented them to the cookie sheet. So, I chipped them off the cookie sheets and put the chunks into a ziploc bag. When John got home from work, I served them in a bowl with vanilla ice cream on top and told him it was "snickerdoodle shortcake". Do you know he bought it? It was actually very good!! heehee. I plan to try again though and see if I can do Jennie's recipe justice. Tonight, though, I'm making Lori's raspberry bars. They are cooling now, and the house smells like butter and toasted coconut. Mmmmm.

Melanomics, part two

Ok, the second part of our new system is a reward system. I said before how much I disliked these, but I'm going to try it. This system is simpler to explain. It actually works out nicely because Kain will be receiving his first reconciliation soon and I managed to tie this in. I made a list of good behaviors associated with 8 of the Ten Commandments. It's basically an examination of conscience. Here's our list, if you are interested. The stuff in parenthesis is for your benefit. :)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
First commandment:
Respectful during family prayer times.

Second commandment:
Uses God’s name respectfully.
Does not use bad language.

Third commandment:
Pays attention during mass and is respectful, especially during consecration.
Participates in prayers and singing during mass.

Fourth commandment:
Up in the morning on second warning.
Morning list done completely and checked off.
Independent work done completely.
Independent work done neatly and school stuff put away.
Helpful acts for Aunt Mel and Uncle John.
Zone checks done well with one reminder.
Zone checks done well with no reminder.
Meal chores done well without complaint.
No getting out of bed the night before.
No more than one warning with Jack at bedtime the night before.
No warnings with Jack at bedtime the night before.
Bedroom floor clean during random checks.
Respectful to other adults. (i.e., PSR class, Upward practice, etc.)
Picked up after yourself.

Fifth commandment:
Did not fight with anyone. (you know, in a nasty way, not just a conflict of interest)
Did not tease anyone.
Did not provoke anyone to anger. (i.e., baiting)
Performed acts of kindness.

Seventh commandment:
Respected other’s property.
Played fairly with others.
Set a good example for others.

Eight commandment:
Spoke and behaved honestly. (no lying or sneaking)
Spoke respectfully to others.

Tenth commandment:
Acted generously and without envy. (no tantrum throwing because "THAT'S NOT FAIR")
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm sure I will be tweaking this and adding other things as I see a need. At the end of the day, we will go down the list and he will get checks for the good things he did. When he gets 300 checks, he can choose from a list of special outings, like swimming at the rec center, roller skating, ice cream cones at the McDonald's playland, etc. We are scouting out other ideas to add to the outing list. They need to be free or inexpensive. 300 sounds like a lot, but there's potential to earn over 20 checks a day, so it can add up quickly if behavior is good. With some areas, like performing acts of kindness, you can even earn more than one check a day. I tried to figure it in a way so that at least some attempt at decent behavior can earn an outing once a month or so and really great behavior can earn one in a couple of weeks.

Maria, of course, wanted in on this one...so she will be participating in this part of the system too. So, that's my brainchild, that's what I've been working on while Kain has been gone. Today's the first day and I started him on "Blessed", but he's already been dropped to "Venerable", haha! We'll see how it goes. He's not thrilled with the levels, but he loves the checklists.

Melanomics, part one

Here's how our new token economy works....

There are two parts. The first part is "levels". He will be on a certain level each day depending on his behavior, and each level has it's own privileges and responsibilities. Here are the four levels. Please note how Catholic we are, to the point of being Catholic nerds. You gotta have a sense of humor, always.

The first level is "purgatory". This is the lowest level reserved for truly obnoxious behavior. There are no privileges at this level. No toys out of the toy closet, only what is available in the playroom. No special box (a box with special toys he keeps under his bed). Bedtime right after dinner with no read aloud and no reading lamp once in bed. No outside time. If we have to go somewhere, he must stay with an adult whenever possible at home. If he must go, then he has to stay with an adult while we are out. For example, if we have a homeschool play day while he is on this level, he has to sit with me instead of playing with the other kids.

Trust breaking behaviors earn this level. These behaviors are the biggies...lying, sneaking, stealing, touching someone in anger, damaging or trying to damage property, and refusing to go to time out when sent (this is a biggie because it is our only way of controlling him when he is in a rage. We can't drag him around anymore.) If he shows any of these behaviors, he is immediately put on purgatory level and will stay there for the rest of that day and until there are no more trust breaking behaviors for 24 hours.

The second level is the "Venerable" level. On this level, things are a little better. He can have toys out of the toy closet and his special box. Bedtime is at 8, and he can have the reading lamp on for 15 minutes. He can go outside under adult supervision. This level is a step up from purgatory, but it is also a level used as a consequence for "bond breaking behaviors", that is, behaviors that damage family bonds. These behaviors include direct disobedience, screaming and tantrums, mean words, and unkindness to those younger than him. If he shows these behaviors, he is immediately put on this level (unless he is already on purgatory!) and he is on it for the rest of the day and until there are no more bond breaking behaviors for 24 hours.

The third level is the "Blessed" level. On this level, things are better still. This is probably the "maintenance" level, where Kain can usually perform on a good day. On this level, he gets TV privileges during free time. Bedtime is at 8:30, and he can use his reading lamp for 30 minutes. He can play on our property without an adult, and if it is a weekend he can have computer time. This level and the next one are a bit different in that he has to have positive behaviors to stay on it, not just an absence of negative behaviors. To stay on this level, he needs to show respectful behaviors, such as speaking respectfully to others, right away obedience when he is asked to do or stop doing something, and no (or little) whining, arguing, and complaining. If he doesn't show enough respectful behavior, he will be bumped down to Venerable for the following day. If he shows good respectful behavior, as well as some sacrificing behaviors, he can move up to the fourth level the next day.

The fourth level is, of course, the "Saint" level. This is the highest, and it is meant to stretch him a bit. On the Saint level, he's got it made. He can have bedtime at 9, and he can use the extra time in the evening on the computer. He can have his reading lamp as long as he wants. He can play outside not just in the yard but in our "boundaries", a certain area we have set in the blocks around our home. Life is good. To stay on this level for the following day, we are looking not just for respectful behaviors but for sacrificing behaviors, like looking for ways to be helpful to John and I, or extra kindnesses to other kids like letting someone else have the first turn or decide what to play, etc. Above and beyond kind of stuff.

Moving up a level is decided at bedtime for the following day.
Time outs are still use for arguing and whining and that kind of thing. He is counted for those. If he doesn't stop at the count of three, he will be sent to time out, and the behavior will be taken into account when his level for the next day is decided.

Kain is coming home TODAY

Oh. My. Gosh.
The therapist called yesterday afternoon and said that Kain is being discharged today. I don't know why. Every time I tried to find out why I got some kind of verbal run-around, but having been a nurse I think the gist is that his insurance isn't wanting to pay for any more time. Insurance Companies, btw, are at the top of my fecal roster, even before Every Lawyer I've Ever Hired, and Fast Food People That Overstuff Your Bags So That They Don't Close And Your Food Gets Cold On The Way Home. Therapists may be soon placed on the list too. Because after meeting with her just last week and making a Treatment Plan with Official Goals to use in the coming weeks of family therapy, he is being dropped, just like that. I have been scrambling to get ready. More on that later.