What's working now- weekends

And this will wrap up this series...

Saturdays can vary. They are first and foremost my cleaning day. We work together on a list of chores, everything from stripping sheets that need washing to washing pet dishes and bird cages to dusting and cleaning floors. I start early by throwing dinner in the crockpot. Saturday is long and physical. I don't want to have to cook dinner at the end of it. I work on things I need to do myself while everyone else is asleep...purging and organizing an area usually, and cleaning the main bathroom.

The day changes here, depending on whether or not John is off. If he is off and available, Maria and I have a girls' day out. We go thrifting, often, or maybe to the craft store or dollar tree, the bakery thrift store, the library to get books that I couldn't look for when I was there with a bunch of kids, or anywhere else I've been needing to go and don't want to go without littles. We finish up with lunch out somewhere and come home to rest up for the afternoon.

If John is working, then I stay home and make it a project day. I have an ongoing list of things I need to be doing...right now that includes organizing and purging the laundry room and school room closet, and going through clothes to bring out spring and summer things. Also, twice a year the boys play baseball for an 8-week stretch on Saturday mornings.

Whatever Saturday morning brings, when my crew is ready after rest time, we move through the house. If pick-ups have been done nightly, we can work quickly with the dusting and floors. After those chores are done, I send the boys to clean out the van and check the yard for trash. Maria cleans the bathroom off our school room. I clean my bedroom and bathroom. We quit at 5, wherever we are. If it didn't all get done, then so be it. We try. Either way, I'm exhausted at this point! I break out my crock pot dinner. We clean up quickly, and then settle down for a movie and popcorn. The movie is geared toward the older kids, a reward for a hard day's work, but needs to at least be appropriate to have on around the littles. They usually watch some, and then wander off to play. I'm not really motivated to bother with laundry folding on Saturdays and once the kids are in bed I continue my couch patrol. It's a long day, and the next day is Sunday! A day of rest! Woohoo!

Not so much. :) But yes, relatively, it is a day of rest. Sunday varies a bit...some weeks we go to a 10am mass...once a month Maria has a Life Teen mass and so we go to mass in the evening. In April, our parish will start having Life Teen mass every week, so I will go with that routine since it will soon be our norm. I sleep in, at least until Jack wakes up...he's usually the first one. I make brunch on Sundays, but the little kids aren't' going to wait that long to eat, so I feed them something..some yogurt or cereal. I make something to have with our brunch, often banana bread since I have a bunch in the freezer to use up. Around 10, we have our brunch, always pancakes for Jack, and maybe omelets or quiche or a frittata, sausage or bacon, whatever bread I made earlier. We have rest time when that rolls around, and do baths and such after, getting cleaned up for mass. I put dinner on after rest time. We will eat early, around four, since we had brunch and since mass falls over dinner time. Dinner is something yummy but not too time-consuming. I did make that big brunch, and it's my day of rest too! So often a chicken or roast or something like that,,,one of those things that looks like more work than it was. We eat dinner no later than 4 so as to make our communion fast by 4:30, and dress quickly for mass. Since clothes are laid out and everyone is (ideally) pretty cleaned up, it doesn't take long. Maria, by the way, is not here at this point. She has band practice before mass, then sings at mass, then has a confirmation prep class or Life Teen after mass. So she is pretty much at church all afternoon/evening. So, anyway, mass, then back home to relax. We usually pick up donuts after mass for good behavior motivation, so that's dessert, though usually the little kids will need something else more substantial to eat before bedtime since dinner was so early. At some point I will motivate to the kitchen to clean up the dinner mess that is still waiting for me. No baths to worry about since we already did that. I do my laundry room time, even though it's Sunday, because I probably didn't do it on Saturday and I need to make sure clothes are ready to go for Monday. Someone will need to go pick Maria up at 8...but that's the weekend! Writing it all out, Sunday doesn't sound too relaxing :) But it is. I don't mind the cooking when there's not a thousand other things to do. I like making a nice brunch. If I didn't, I wouldn't do it, or I would get some pre-made things to use for brunch. There's still work to do, but the pace is slower.

What's working now- Fridays-

Moving right along... :)

Fridays are quite similar to Thursdays. I made Friday another office day. In Large Family Logistics, she only has one office day. I didn't feel like this would be enough for me, so I made two of them. I'm hoping the extra office day will eventually give me some time to do things like organize photos and scrapbooks and that sort of thing that never ever gets done.

The only difference between Thursdays and Fridays is that we go to noon mass on Fridays. After math with the boys, I feed the littles a good snack and we head out the door. Lots of homeschoolers attend the noon mass. Often there are friends to visit with for a little while afterwards. We come home for lunch and continue on with the day.

In the LFL book, instead of two office days she has a "gardening day". This sounds lovely, but I just didn't see how to devout the whole day to this. I get a lot of my work done very early, and often John is gone. I'm not comfortable being outside working while the kids are asleep. And most of the year it is still dark at that time anyway! It has been my practice to get outside with the kids for little bits of time during the day and water plants, weed veggies, etc. Larger projects, like planting, yard clean-up, etc., need to wait for a free week-end.

what's working now- Thursdays

Moving right along...finally...

Thursday bears the distinction of being the *only* day of the week that I don't have somewhere else to be. Love Thursdays. Wish I had more of them. Thursdays are also my "office day". I (rather poorly) handle all the household paper stuff...budgeting, bills, grocery lists, school stuff, filing, it's all mine. It gets ugly. The paper monster is huge. Thursday is the day to try and tame it. My to-do list includes...

-paying bills and doing the budget
-making menus and grocery lists
-filling out the family calendar
-cleaning out my diaper bag
-making library lists
-school planning and paperwork
-liturgical year planning
-filing and organizing the whole mess. This is still a work in progress. I hope to get to some kind of maintenance point this spring.

So I start out early, as on the other days, get done what I can until it's time to feed the crowd, and plug away during the day if the opportunity presents itself. Hopefully there will be some of those since we are home all day. I have my list prioritized because I likely won't get to everything. Bills and grocery lists are always on top, along with any other timely "to-do's", like getting grades together to send to MODG, that sort of thing.

The day plugs along as I've written before, only without the running around. We have breakfast, do morning chores, Maria has PE and I also add art to her Thursday since she is also home all day..I do school with her, math with the boys, lunch, rest time, wrap up school, dinner and chores, baths and bedtimes, work in the laundry room...and that is Thursday. It's a busy, full day of catching up on house stuff, but it's a day well-spent.

what's working now- Wednesdays

Ok! Moving right along....

Wednesday is laundry day. As I've already said, I do laundry every day, and I take a crack at putting away every evening. But Wednesday is a day to try to really catch up. I said "try". Laundry is a monster. I've come very close a couple of times, but I have yet to really totally catch up! Wednesday is also a full day of school for Maria and Kain, but not for Jack...he has therapy again!

So, I start the morning by working in the laundry room until breakfast time. If we've followed our evening routine the night before, I should have all dirty laundry in there already. Probably in a huge pile with all the other accumulated dirty laundry. I boot the machines and start hanging and folding until breakfast time. I set timers for the machines and carry them with me so that I can get in there and reboot quickly. If I am blessed with extra time during the day, I will go in there and fold and hang some more. I will try to wipe down machines and spot clean the backdoor...it gets really gross, lots of little muddy hands on it!...and work on organizing the room if I can. It's a big job right now because I am reorganizing that whole room in general. I used to keep craft supplies in there and I am now moving those to another place...so lots of shuffling and sorting going on.

At 7:30 I start moving through the morning routine as on Monday, and then some school work, only instead of taking Jack and Kain to therapy at 11:30, we head out the door for noon mass. After mass, we come home for lunch and rest time. Then I have Maria start rest time while I drop Jack off at therapy. His therapies are from 1:30-3:30 on Wednesdays. After rest time, Maria works on her school work, I finish school up with Kain, and leave at 3:15 to get Jack, come home and wrap up the afternoon and start dinner, etc. Our evening routine is like Mondays too, except every other Wednesday Jack and Kain have PSR...so back to the church we go! On PSR nights, I will have the kids start a pick up while I am fixing dinner and we will skip baths for the littles. We will come home to do quick prayers and quick read alouds, just trying to get everyone to bed as close to on time as I can manage, though we won't quite make it since we don't even get home until 8:15.

what's working now- Tuesdays

Ah, Tuesdays. Sigh. Tuesdays are errand days. For years I've managed to avoid taking little kids shopping. But I've given up. I need a predictable shopping day and John's schedule is too unpredictable. Maria really doesn't want to babysit anymore than she already does. So now we all go. It's not pretty. I organize my list very carefully, I know my store well, and we move quickly.

Our mornings start the same as Monday, except that instead of cleaning the kitchen I am getting ready to be gone all day. I load the diaper bag, pack lunches, gather library books. Dinner goes in the crock pot, or else something is planned that is extremely simple.

Same morning routine for the kids as Monday, except I keep breakfast simple and quick so they can help me load up and gather any missing library items. Maria skips PE though and just takes a shower and gets ready for dance class.

We try to leave by 9 and get to the library for 9:30 story time. Story time is such fun for the littles. Jack even enjoys it, though he will have nothing to do with the craft that follows. Since its a preschool story time, he's the oldest one there by far, but he's not really aware of that right now. I'm glad to see him participate, since when he *was* in preschool he just couldn't handle stuff like that. Tess loves it, and Henry, who was really shy and clingy at first, now really likes it and tries to participate. After story time, we finish gathering our books and such and check out.

Next up is dance class. We drop off Maria and if the weather is good we head up the street to the park. We break out our lunches there, or in the car afterwards. When dance class is over, we head to pick up groceries for the week.

And then we head home. Little kids have usually crashed at this point. We are all beat. I try to carry sleeping people in and keep them asleep. The big kids unload groceries while I put things away. Then I send everyone away from me for like an hour. lol. At least anyone I can get to cooperate with such at thing! Seriously, everyone scatters for an hour of rest time, taking their new library haul along, and that includes me. I take any awake littles upstairs with a new library dvd and rest. It's a loooong day. It's likely near time to start dinner at this point. After our rest, I spend maybe an hour total doing a bit of school...math with Kain, a half day with Jack, which is not really very long at all. Maria works on her own for a bit. I pull my easy dinner together and we follow our evening routine as we did on Monday.

And that is Tuesday. Long, long Tuesday. :) Usually the clean-ups and meal chores are easier because we haven't been home to make much mess. Everyone is ready to settle down and relax, and the littles have usually had stilted naps and are sleepy early.

What's working now- Mondays

I'm starting this post on a Monday...who knows when I'll actually be able to post it though?! Ah well...I really need a laptop. Really. Need a laptop.

One of the principles in the Large Family Logistics book that was new to me was assigning a certain work to each day of the week...a laundry day, a kitchen day, etc. When I first read the book, I dismissed it as not workable for us for a variety of reasons. But eventually I came around and decided to try it. It's working really well! I think one reason is that I can kind of hyperfocus on one particular set of chores each day and use those little moments that crop up here and there to work on them. And another reason is that it let's me assign more work-intensive chores to days that I am mostly home, which helps that kind of work to happen more easily, and save lighter/less crucial chores for days that need more flexibility.

So...Mondays...Monday is my kitchen day. I try to get an earlier start than the kids because mornings are my best opportunity to work fairly uninterrupted....on a good day! Today was not a good one...Henry and Tess have been sick for several days and woke up unhappy and wanting Momma on the couch. But I got done what I could. I get up, start some coffee, and transfer laundry around. Laundry goes on every day, whenever I can get in there and get another load going. Then I start that day's work, beginning with whatever is done best without company of children. On kitchen day, that means a good scrub of the floor. I damp mop every day, but its not enough, not for my floor. (Note to kitchen remodelers...off white tiles is a stupid choice for anyone with small children. Think gray. Or dirt colored. Or the color of petrified ketchup.) I despair of ever finding a good mop that can really clean a week's worth of grime off the floor, even when the worst has been daily swept and damp mopped...anyone try one of those steam mops? For now, I have taken to just getting down on my hands and knees and scrubbing the floor. Yes, even while pregnant. It's not that hard. My kitchen is pretty small. The hard part is getting back up again! ha! Once done, I dry it with a couple of old prefold dipes and switch on the ceiling fan to get it dry quickly in case little feet appear. When the floor is.done and dry, I throw down clean rag rugs and check the time. If I have any time left, and if I am lucky enough that everyone is still asleep, or at least happy in front of an episode of Little Einsteins, I will take a crack at more chores. I start with the most important ones first. Any that don't get done in the morning will have to be fitted into small moments of time here and there during the day. Or they might get assigned to a child that needs a consequence assigned for something or other. :) If something towards the end doesn't get done, it's no biggie...they will keep until next time. The remaining kitchen chores are...
...check out the menu for the week and remove meat to defrost
...doing a good, soapy scrub of the counters, stove top, and small appliances
...cleaning the trashcan lid, and the trashcan/recycling can when needed
...cleaning the kitchen window (this can be done weekly..it is over the sink and gets pretty splattery), a pantry shelf, a kitchen cabinet and drawer, and a shelf or drawer in the fridge.
...pre-cooking and freezing some ground beef for various recipes, and now hoping to make some freezer meals to have after baby arrives. I'm thinking this will probably not happen though. I will likely have to just plan a project day for this instead...

At 7:30, it's time to wake up any remaining sleepers (i.e., Maria and Kain). We have breakfast, Maria has her PE time followed by a shower, and the rest of us start moving through our morning lists...meal chores, getting dressed, straightening bathrooms and beds...this takes a good 45 minutes now. Kain needs a lot of prompting, and Jack needs almost as much help as Tess and Henry. I am actively trying to teach him to do these things more independently but it is slow-going.

Hopefully by 9, I can put Kain in charge of entertaining Tess and Henry in the playroom while I do math with Jack. This will be the only school for Jack on Mondays because he will also have two hours of therapy. Then, weather permitting, I send all the younger kids outside and meet with Maria for grammar/Latin, spelling, math corrections, and to make sure she knows where to go with the rest of her day. Then I do math with Kain while Maria takes charge of the little kids. Usually they are ready to come in by then and she will set them up at the table with some play dough or puzzles or whatever she feels like taking on. She will also give them a snack during this time.

At 11:30, it's time for therapy for both boys. I drop Jack off at noon, then Kain's appointment is in another clinic at 12:30. When Kain is done, we pick up Jack. Jack and Kain and I all eat lunch in the car while Maria feeds the littles at home and has rest time.

We get home by 2:30 and Maria goes off to finish her school work in her room. I work with Kain on anything else we need to do, then he does his independent work. Jack usually goes outside to unwind after therapy. Tess might be napping, or might not be...if not, she will at least lay on the couch and watch something. If she wanders to the table, then I will set her up with something to do there.

At 4, I need to be starting dinner. We eat early. Tess and Henry go outside when Henry is up. Jack will usually watch something or continue playing, and Kain will do the same when his work is done. We eat dinner at 5.

When dinner is done, I fill up a tub and put Tess and Henry in it. Then we all pitch in and clean up the main living areas of the house, including doing a quick sweep of the floors and cleaning up the kitchen. One of us, John (if he's home), myself, or Maria, will take charge of shampooing and dressing Tess and Henry in PJ's, joining in the cleaning while they are playing in the tub. Even Jack joins in the pick up, if briefly and in a very directed way. Half the time John is still at work during the evenings, so we need a flexible routine with big kids help so that we can function with or without him. But it's definitely easier with. :)

At 7, done or not, we stop. If the house is getting trashed, we may not have finished, but we've made a good improvement. Maria takes Tess into their bedroom and coaches her through any straightening that needs done there, and Kain does the same with Jack if Jack can tolerate it. We don't keep toys in the bedrooms, so pick ups there are quick. I fill up another tub and put Jack in it. Jack does not bathe with anyone else. Ever. lol... I help him wash and then go read aloud to Tess and Henry. Kain is taking his shower during this time. Then we gather back around the table for dessert and prayers, and if I have any gumption and time left, maybe a liturgical year read aloud.

Hopefully by 8 we have brushed teeth, Maria is free to do what she wants, the little kids are settled down on the couch with something relaxing to watch, and I read aloud to Kain and Jack. Once the boys are in bed, I wrap up my day. John, if he's worked, is home by now and will visit with the littles if they are still awake. They usually are! I check the calendar for the next day, pack John's lunch if he is working in the morning, make sure the animals got fed,,,I spend a good 45 minutes in the laundry room sorting the day's dirties, loading the machines up with them or maybe with a load of diapers, laying out clothes for everyone (except Maria and John) for the next day, and then working on putting clean laundry away until 9:30 or until some little person gets cranky. We keep no clothing in the bedrooms anymore. All of it is in the laundry room. Clean, dirty, all of it except the linens in the hall closet, it all lives in the laundry room, so it all gets washed, dried, and put away in the same place. Awesome system for big families!

At 9:30 I go upstairs to my room with Tess and Henry and tuck them in where they may or may not stay. I take a shower, have my prayer time and reading time, and basically just try to settle them down to sleep. This needs to change with the baby coming. Tess needs to start sleeping downstairs with Maria. We have a bed for her there. She is being resistant and I haven't had the evening energy to get serious about it, but it needs to happen very soon. Henry will stay upstairs for a while yet. I have a toddler bed up there, but mostly he will probably just sleep in our big king sized bed while the baby sleeps next to me in the co-sleeper.

Ok, that's Monday! I'm sure the rest of these posts will be much shorter now that I've laid out the whole day already. The early mornings and evenings usually stay the same. Finally finishing this post on Friday.

co-sleeping....safe for mom?

It is nearly midnight. I'm laying here in bed posting with my nook. Henry is laying in my lap watching Holy Baby. He became hysterical a little bit ago, obviously in pain...probably an ear infection. . Now we are distracting him with a dvd and waiting for the ibuprofen to take effect. I am posting this because I have to stay sitting up or he'll start crying again, and I am just bone-tired.

Also, my lip is throbbing. Fifteen minutes ago, while Henry was crying and thrashing around in bed, he hit my mouth with his head and split my lip open. I yelled out and then started to cry a little, which really freaked him out. Sigh. This is not our first bed-sharing injury. Just a couple of months ago, I was laying down with both Tess and Henry. I badly needed a nap, so I put Maria in charge of the boys and put a dvd on in my bedroom for the littles. I woke up to white hot pain and blood pouring out of my face. Tess had flopped back and hit my nose full onwith her head. It was so shockingly painful, all I could do was cup my hands over my face and yell for Maria to bring a towel, then sit there for several minutes with the towel over my face, waiting for the pain fog to lift. I don't think it was broken. It didn't bruise. It was sure swollen though! And sore for weeks. I'd hate to feel what a broken one feels like.

Ah well,,,Henry has rolled of my lap. He has his eyes closed...dare I hope? I'm afraid to move, even though my leg is numb. Here's hoping for a peaceful night. No sleeping in though. We have an appointment bright and early with the pediatrician.

What's working now- a series

Hi there! I'm still here! I've heard from a few of you who have missed me, which is so sweet, God love ya. I have not wanted to blog because my camera cord is MIA...and my scanner is broken. I have ultrasound pics to post of our new little one and can't post them! And every time I think about posting, I think, well, that camera cord is surely going to show up any time now...so I wait. And it never shows. I was going to scan the ultrasound pics, and when the scanner quit working, I had the brilliant idea of taking a picture of the pictures and posting *those*, and then I couldn't find the camera cord...sigh. And I haven't posted recent pictures of the kids in *so* long. I have a couple more places to dig in, and if that cord doesn't show itself there, I will have to just go get another one I guess.

Since we can't post the pictures yet, I will go ahead and just say it...we are expecting a little girl! We're very happy about it. Maria will be graduating high school a little more than three years (sniff), and it will be nice to have another girl in the house for Tessie to be all, you know, girly with.

Anyway, I thought I'd jump back in here with a series of posts about what life around here looks like now. I really feel like I'm getting better at this big family thing. Having a couple of big kids helps *a lot*...and I have worked hard this year to really learn what works for *us*. This book has been very helpful.


If you are struggling to figure out how to make it all work, I highly recommend it. If you don't struggle with organizing yourself, or if you grew up in a big homeschooling family, it might not teach you a lot of new things. But, if like me, you have experienced the pain of the learning curve...this will help.

So, I will start off by giving a few general tips that have helped us, and then I will talk about what each day looks like around here. Because for us, each day of the week is very different. Some days we have therapy, some days we have classes and errands, some days we attend daily mass, some days we are lucky enough to be home all day. Combine it all with a husband that works three 12 hour shifts a week (always on different days!),,,and let's not forget the ever-changing needs of babies, toddlers, and special needs kids...the ones that thrive on (haha) routine...I really needed to come to terms with it all and figure out what worked and toss what was not working.

So, some general thoughts....

1. Train your kids to work. For real. I don't mean just "make the bed and feed the dog work". I mean, a child over the age of 10 should be a working and actively contributing member of the household. A child over the age of two should be learning how to become one. A teenager can be trained to do anything you can do. My kids have heard me say more times than they want to remember that 200 years ago a boy Kain's age would be working on the farm every day, and a girl Maria's age would be married and raising kids of her own. Ironically, once they are old enough to be truly helpful, they start to act like boogers about it at times. I think this can be especially true of homeschooled kids because they tend to have more free time in general than public-schooled kids. If left too much to their own whims, say while Mom is too busy fighting the urge to vomit from the couch to keep up well with what chores and schoolwork is being done, things will slide fast. They will very quickly adjust to slacking off and fight having routine restored. When my kids complain about chores, I will often point out that they still have far more free time than I do, and they can't deny this. It is good for them. Truly. They will grow up to be adults who expect to work, and that is a good thing.

2. Play together. Expect them to work together, and then relax together. Work together to pick up the house at the end of the day, then sit for a dessert and read-aloud. Work together to do weekly cleaning chores one day a week, then pop some popcorn and have a family movie night. Observe Sunday as a day of rest as best you can. Let them see you relax on Sundays too. Enjoy the day together, and then point out that when God created one day a week as a day of rest, he also created the other six days as days of work. Man was created to work. And when they complain to me on a Friday, I will often say, "Fridays are not a day of rest. On Fridays, we work." But even during the week, have downtime built into their day, time to build forts and romp with the dog and build with legos.

3. Make work fun. Put on music, work together as a team. I have, in the past, sent the kids off to work alone. This doesn't work very well for me. I have more kids that need direct supervision than kids I can send off to do something satisfactorily alone. And no one likes to work alone. Work together, be encouraging, set a time limit so they know what to expect, and don't be a grump about it. Be someone *you* would like to work with.

4. Look around your house and your day with your brain on. Find the glitches in your day and fix them. Sometimes fixing the littlest thing can help a lot! I will use toothbrushes as an example. Toothbrushes were the bane of my existance. It's expensive, you know, to buy decent ones for a bunch of people. And then we would go through them five times faster than we should have because the little kids would cart them off and leave them on the floor for the dog to chew up, or I would find one in a hairy mess under the clawfoot tub, or one would disappear for days and then turn up in the laundry hamper after I grugingly gave up and bought another. Keeping up with whose toothbrush was whose was also an issue. The kids all have colors assigned for different things,,,towels, drinking cups, etc...but toothbrushes were the bugaboo. Consistently finding the right color was hard. And many little kids brushes are more than one color. And all it takes is one nifty new freebie toothbrush of their own picking from the dentist office to throw that whole system off completely. I found toothbrushes, name brand ones, at Dollar Tree. But those were even harder to find in the "right" colors. We tried labels (they peel off) and sharpies (they wear off too easily). Oh, the headaches! The woe! The gnashing of teeth! I finally came up with a solution. I bought some colored hair elastics from Dollar Tree, along with a dozen new toothbrushes. The hair elastics come in many colors. I took out the colors I needed for our toothbrush color-coding and put the rest with the hair stuff. Then I wrapped hair elastics around toothbrushes for each person in the house. White for me, black for John (because no one wants black or white!), purple for Maria, blue for Kain, green for Jack, pink for Tess, orange for Henry...the same colors as their towels and drinking cups. It's very easy to tell whose is whose, regardless of the color of the actual toothbrush. I have a stash of Dollar Tree toothbrushes and elastics in a cabinet, and when one goes missing it is a small matter to grab another. When the missing one turns up, it just joins the others...this is why Jack and Tess both have at least two toothbrushes right now.

5. Make some kind of schedule, or routine, and then learn to be flexible within it, but stick to the essential pegs of it. By this I mean, if you are "supposed" to do school from 9-12, and 12 comes and you haven't finished math, let it go. Move on and pick up where you left off next time. When it is time to start dinner, stop trying to finish up school and start dinner. Stop obsessing about making it through your "to-do" list to the point that family life suffers. Meals need to happen on time. Prayer time needs to happen. Outside time needs to happen. Bedtimes need to happen. Even when you are behind in your school work. Don't do school on Sundays. If you choose to do some school on Saturdays (we do), decide ahead of time how much and stick with it. Our days are *crazy* unpredictable. If you have special needs people in your house, flexibility is the name of the game. There are days where I spend all morning trying to get the boys through what should have been done by 9am. You do what you can do, and that's all you can do. Accepting this is essential to avoiding burn-out. And I've been burned-out. You are no good to anyone that way. Protect yourself from it. Build plenty of extra time into your school year to allow for this. We school year-round, always have, and this is why. There are 32 weeks in our syllabi, and 52 weeks in a year. I usually bank on 2 weeks of vacation at Christmas, 2 weeks at Easter (one this year because of the baby due near that time!), and 4 weeks over summer. That leaves 12 weeks of wiggle room...12 weeks of math starting late because of a lost book, 12 weeks of a child having a meltdown over grammar, 12 weeks of missing schooltime due to sickness, OB appointments, and visits to grandparents.

6. Read and see what works for others. But only fix your own life if it's broken. The blog-o-sphere is full of ideas, great ideas. It is tempting to constantly try out new systems, to read what someone else does and try it yourself even if what you are doing already is working just fine. What works great here may not work in your house at all. Heck, what works here now may not work here next week! This is just what's working now.

Ok, that's long enough. :) So we are doing better. Especially now that the nastiness of early pregnancy is behind us. Pregnancy years are terribly hard for me. I don't handle the first trimester well. I don't handle the last month well. I'm much happier and more functional once the baby arrives. I hesitate to post these kinds of things because, believe me, we still struggle *a lot* at times and things are far from well-ordered most of the time. But we have made a lot of progress. I feel much more at peace about adding a sixth child to our house than I did about adding a fourth or fifth. Weird, huh?

Next, I'll give a peek at each day of the week. This is for me...I always enjoy reading back and seeing what life was like when Jack was 7, and Tess was 3, etc.

Tess, who can't say "r" very well.

(maybe because of the overbite from sucking those fingers...)

Tess- I wanna have pears.

Me- We don't have any pears. Would you like an apple?

Tess- No, I wanna have pears.

Me- Ok, but we don't have any pears. We have apples, and bananas, and oranges, but no pears. Do you want a banana?

Tess- No! No, I wanna pears!

(she wanders away for a bit, then comes back carefully carrying all the candles from the Advent wreath. She comes over and carefully hands me each one and says, "Pears! I wanna have these pears!"

Me- Tess, we don't have any pears! (Then a light bulb finally goes on) Oh! You want to have PRAYERS?!

Tess- Yes! Yes, I wanna have these pears!

So, we did. Even though it wasn't prayer time. Because she worked so hard for it. :)

a contest with myself

Kain returned two hours ago from a five day long visit with my parents. I haven't yelled at anyone in five whole days. People comment on my frazzled nerves, and I promise them, my nerves are frazzled because of one child. One out of five isn't bad I guess. :) But still. I don't like that it takes Kain leaving for five days to reign in my temper. I'm in a contest (with myself) to see how long I can go without losing my temper with him. So far I have weathered an argument in which he demanded tools and nails and a curtain rod so that he can build a clubhouse RIGHT NOW. Actually, first he asked if he could build a clubhouse, and then I said sure, and then he asked in which tree, and I said no, not a treehouse, a clubhouse on the ground (our trees are not suitable for treehousing), and he was ticked about that, and he came back with a new plan to build a clubhouse on the ground, and I said sure, and he gave me a list of things he needs, and I told him to talk to Uncle John about which tools he could use, and he had a cow because he wants to do it RIGHT NOW. How's that for a run-on sentence? And I did not yell. I may have adapted an exasperated tone. But I did not yell. Stay posted. I can see him from the window by the computer gathering scrap wood. I don't think this is over. :)

Jack said....

waiting impatiently for breakfast one morning..."Am I among the poor?"

Me- "No dear. Why?'

Jack- "Because I have nothing to eat!"

an announcement!

Many of you know this already, those I know "elsewhere", and I've been meaning to post it here...we are expecting a new baby probably sometime in late May. I haven't been keeping up with my dates very well, shame on me. But my best guess puts me around 11 weeks along. We're all excited. This is the first pregnancy that Jack seems "old" enough to follow along. He's very sweet, talks about the baby often and kisses my belly. Tess may have some issues. Any time I mention the baby she yells "NO!" haha!

Is he slow?

John was asked this about Jack a couple of weeks ago. I guess we'll be hearing those kinds of questions more and more as Jack gets older. When he was a younger boy, he just seemed shy, or quirky...now that he's bigger, the gap between Jack and other 7year old boys is widening. He is slower. Slower to respond to his name, slower to move, slower to answer a question. He still performs on grade level,,,but slowly. I don't think he would be able to perform on grade level in a regular classroom just because he wouldn't be able to keep up with the pace and the level of distraction. But here, at home, we slow down with him, for him. We ask him a question, and we wait. Repeat, if necessary. We repeat instructions, we slow down our expectations,,,,Jack slows us all down. We sit with math, and the calendar, and I ask him, "What month is it?" and I know he knows the answer, so I wait. And when he stares over my shoulder, I ask again. And when he says, "A clarinet is a member of the woodwind family." I pull his chin to me and say, very sweetly and patiently because if he thinks you are mad he will cry, "Jack, what month is it?" and wait for his gaze to clear and for him to smile and answer, "It's October! It's October 24th, and Halloween is October 31st, and my birthday is October 7th, and your birthday is October 16th, and you are 37 years old now!" And after having exhausted all he knows about October, we move on. Slowly but surely.

grocery shopping with Kain

I haven't taken Kain on a real grocery shopping trip in a long, long time. And even then, I think there was just the once. He doesn't handle the store well. And usually, Maria and I go after her dance class. John is usually off that day and he watches the rest of the clan. But this Friday was pay day. John was working. We were desperately in need of many things. Maria was leaving the next day to visit her grandparents for five days, so she wasn't going to be around for regular Tuesday trip anyway. So I decided to take Kain and Henry and left Maria home to babysit Tess and Jack (she was thrilled).

You should know that grocery shopping for seven people is huge. And also that I shop once every two weeks. So. It's really huge. And food for seven people for two weeks is just about all my house can hold, so when the two weeks are up, we are pretty much out of everything. I decided to take Kain because, 1., he had been kind of a butt lately and I didn't think he'd behave for Maria, and 2., he complains that I never take him to the store, and 3., some help loading and such is nice to have for such a long day.

So, we started our trip at Aldi. And it was really funny. Even though Kain usually helps unload the groceries when we've been home, I guess he had no idea how much of each thing I actually buy. I went first thing back to the milk case and loaded 10 gallons of milk into the cart. Then I loaded 10 dozen eggs in as well. His jaw hit the floor. I blew through the pantry goods and piled in 6 boxes of cereal, 4 boxes of granola bars, 2 bags of pretzels, 4 bags of tortilla chips, cans of beans, bags of rice, a few dozen fruit cups, and several boxes of various pasta, among other things. We hit the cold case for 4 bags of frozen chicken thighs, four pounds of ground turkey, some fish, some chicken nuggets, 6 cans of frozen juice, three pounds of lunch meat, bacon, sausage, and four pounds of butter. We hit the produce section for salad greens, cucumbers, tomatoes, a watermelon, a dozen nectarines, dozen plums, 2 bags of apples, a bag of potatoes, a bag of onions, mushrooms, peppers, carrots, and 2 bags of bananas. Kain kept expressing alarm and mumbling that he hoped I knew what I was doing. We checked out with our overflowing cart....$254.00.
Kain gasped loudly. "Oh no, that's too much Aunt Mel!" I laughed. "Relax kid. We are just getting started."

After a run through a drive through for a quick lunch while Henry napped, we hit walmart. First stop was for non-food stuffs...diapers (I use cloth mostly, but use disposables at night), wipes, cat food, cat litter, dishwasher soap, some supplies for my co-op class, dog food, a big pack of toilet paper, paper towels, and some various toiletries. The cart already nearly full, we headed to the food section to squeeze in yogurt, 3 packs of american cheese, a big block of cheddar, some mozzarella, pepperoni. We hit the meat section for a pound of round steak that I couldn't' find at aldi, then picked up some dregs like 2 huge jars of pickles, peanut butter, coffee, frozen fruit, frozen vegetables, brown rice, and salad dressing, and four boxes of frozen ice creams, among other things. Then we hit the bread section last, piling in 2 packs of hamburger buns, goldfish crackers, and 6 loaves of bread. Usually I get bread at the bakery thrift store, but it's in the same town as Maria's dance class and was too far out of the way to make a trip there just for the bread. One last stop by the deli to get Maria some popcorn shrimp and potato wedges...her bribe for babysitting...and we checked out....$165.00.

All in all, not a bad trip. We were out of everything, food wise, but I didn't have anything too out of the ordinary to buy so it worked out. Kain was whiny and tired, but he handled it pretty well overall. I don't think he'll ask to go shopping anytime soon though. I don't think he had any idea how much work it is!

This isn't working very well

We just can't get off the ground very well this year. Sigh. Staying up late...I gave that up. Neither Tess nor Henry would go to sleep and stay that way. They were up too late and up too early and just cross and fussy all the next day. No good. I tried laying down in Tess's room with her, but she took quite a while to go to sleep and I realized it wouldn't work too many nights anyway. John is very often still at work at bedtime, or newly home and not wanting to chase Henry around. So, I'm back to going to bed insanely early and then getting up early. It's still not working so great. The kids have an uncanny ability to know when I'm out of bed. Usually within 15 minutes of heading downstairs, I have company.

On other fronts...Kain is already as belligerent about his schoolwork as ever. I'm already threatening public school, and it's not even Labor Day yet! haha! Jack is doing quite well with his schoolwork, but his behavior overall is an issue. He's having lots of tantrums and anxiety...not related to school, just for all kinds of reasons. It's all been rather exhausting to handle these two. I'd appreciate some sanity prayers.

day with dora

Picking up the pace

Sigh. I miss summer already. This past weekend Maria had Life Teen activities at church, and the boys had something for scouts. Our co-op started last week. Dance starts this week. Vacation is over, folks.

School is a little....limpy. We are working, but we aren't on schedule very well and I find myself spending a lot of time putting out fires. I'm having a hard time finding a groove. Ok. I'm lazy. There, I said it. I feel lazy. In order for the days to really flow smoothly, I need to either...
a. stay up later than the children and get some things done, or
b. get up earlier than the children and get some things done.

Neither has been happening. I mean, I've been up, both early and late, but I'm not actually *working*...I need to be doing some housework, folding laundry, grading and prepping school work. Instead I either...
a. stay up later than the children, eat fourth meal, and watch reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond, or
b. get up earlier than the children and sit on the couch watching the news and drinking coffee.

I've got to kick myself in the can. But first I need to decide which way to go, up early or up late? Last year I was getting up early. I'm just too darned tired to actually work on laundry and cleaning and such at the end of the day. And the littles go to sleep (and stay asleep) better if I just lay down with them. But I don't seem to be able to kick it into gear very well this year. Which works best for you? Getting up early? Staying up late?

banana bread

I am seriously addicted to it right now. Here's my favorite recipe.

1 cup of butter, softened
2 cups of sugar
4 eggs
3 cups of all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons of baking soda
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon salt
3 bananas
1 cup sour cream
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 cup chopped walnuts, if you have them

Cream the butter, sugar, and eggs. Mix dry ingredients separately, then add to butter mixture. Add sour cream, vanilla, and bananas. Stir in nuts. Pour into two greased loaf pans and bake at 350 for 1 hour.


Now, ignore all that. Because! It has way too much fat and sugar! Yikes! It's yummy, believe me, but wow...I feel like I might as well give the kids a snicker bar for breakfast. Here's my tweaked version...not as sweet, but still very, very good and something that I can feed my kids without a guilt complex. Henry loves it!

1/2 cup of butter
1 cup of sugar
4 eggs
3 cups of whole wheat flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon salt
3 bananas
1/2 cup of applesauce
1 cup sour cream
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 cup chopped walnuts, if you have them

Add applesauce with the bananas. I rarely use all whole wheat flour when baking. It comes out like a doorstop. But it actually works really well in this recipe. The kids had no idea it was whole wheat. I tried it accidentally when I was in the middle of baking some and found out I was out of white flour.

You did know that you can freeze bananas whole, right in their skins, right? I buy them in those paper bags at 25 cents a pound. We eat up what we can, then I toss the rest right in the freezer as is. When you are ready to use them, you just defrost them, then cut the stem end off with kitchen scissors and goosh the banana right into the bowl. They turn really dark but are still just fine for baking. And if you have any little boys around, they will love to make the bananas "poop". Yes...we are easily entertained.

I forgot

I know I said I was going to post everyday for a while,,,but the truth of the matter is that I keep forgetting to post when I'm at the computer! Ah well. Anyway, today is our first day of school...sort of. I'm still waiting for some of our books to get here. A car repair, and air conditioning repair, and that trip to St. Louis put off my book ordering a bit. The rest are ordered but not in my hands yet. But we are starting today anyway with what we can do. I have most of what I need for Kain. I still need quite a bit for Maria, and some things for Jack. Maria will be starting slow anyway. She is taking two classes, grammar and religion, online this year, and so she has to follow their schedule...they don't start until September.

Hopefully I'll have some first day pictures soon. Our schedule looks very different this year than last year. Tess is starting preschool, officially, which mostly means some Montessori activities and a slow progression through Little Saints. Jack is starting first grade. Gosh, he's made so much progress over the last year. Kain is starting fifth grade. And Maria is starting HIGH SCHOOL! Gasp! I KNOW! We are enrolled in Mother of Divine Grace for the first time this year, so now I am officially accountable to another human being, something that I'm sure will stretch my organizational abilities to their screaming limits.

a change of pace

We were supposed to go to a family reunion this past weekend. Then, on Wednesday night, Jack got sick. Vomiting, chills, 104 fever sick. So John went with the two biggest kids and I stayed home with the little kids. I fully expected Tess and/or Henry to get sick, but they did not. So by Friday, Jack was much better (but still not well enough for mixed company) and I was alone until Sunday night with the three littlest ones. It was such a change of pace. Just as busy...but slower, if that makes sense. I concentrated on just the basics because that's all I could do...and remarkably, they got done. We made a huge batch of hot pink, vanilla scented playdough. We took long bubble baths until toes were pruny and water was cool. We blew bubbles for the dog to chase. We broke out checkers that no one was old enough to play and lined and stacked them up on the board. Meals were very simple, wake up times were ignored. It was rather lovely, really. But quiet in a way. There was no one to *talk* to, and it made me realize how much conversation actually happens between the biggest kids and I.