A Goodnight Moon party

Goodnight room


Goodnight moon



Goodnight cow jumping over the moon



Goodnight light




And the red balloon

Goodnight bears, goodnight chairs



Goodnight kittens

Goodnight mittens


Goodnight clocks


And goodnight socks



Goodnight little house




And goodnight mouse



Goodnight comb and goodnight brush


Goodnight nobody

Goodnight mush

And goodnight to the old lady whispering hush

Goodnight stars, goodnight air

Goodnight noises everywhere



(Thank you to Maria,,she did all the decorating and most of the picture taking!)

Tessie turns two!

Singing Happy Birthday...she always puts her fingers in her mouth when you sing to her, hehe.

Her new toy kitchen


The ball was from Maria...Kain has already managed to pop it (sigh). It's ok! I'll get another!

...and the dress-up stuff was from Kain and Jack. The purple thing over her arm is the new pair of pajamas from Meme and Papa. She got a See and Say from them too, but that picture didn't come out.

Museum ABC blocks,,,a big hit! She got the picture book that went with it too.

Happy Birthday big sister!

Henry, one month old

Cooing, and smiling, but not for the camera...still too skinny according to the doctor, but gaining better!

stream of consciousness posting

1. I am going to post like this, in a numbered list, like I'm making rational points about something when really I'm not, I just feel like posting and have no set topic and can't organize my thoughts so I'm just going to spew them out here in really really long run on sentences.

2. I'm going to order an Ergo carrier today. I think. Some of John's family sent us a generous gift card and I'm paralyzed with thoughts of how to use it. Right now I'm torn between an Ergo and a double stroller. I have three carriers already. One is a ring sling, and it is my "on the go sling". It normally lives in the car. It folds up small and is quick to get Henry in and out of, and it has a really long tail that doubles wonderfully as a nursing cover up or a little tent to keep sun or wind off the baby, but it's not terrifically secure and I always feel like I need to keep readjusting him. I have a moby wrap (thanks Charlotte! :)), and that is my "at home" sling. It takes more time to put on (though I've gotten much quicker at it) and it's bulkier and hotter because it's a lot of fabric, but it holds him very securely and works wonderfully for toting him around and still keeping my hands free. And then I have a kirby backpack that I love to use, in and out of the house, when I have to hold a bigger baby/toddler for an extended period of time. I'd be all set, except that when they fall asleep in the kirby their little heads bob and fall all over the place. The ergo has those nifty little hoods that holds their heads up. There was a mom at our homeschool co-op that toted her 3yo around all afternoon while he napped in one of them. But is that worth $100 plus dollars? I don't know....

3. Henry is not gaining weight fast enough for the doctor. He was weighed at 3 weeks, last Friday, and still had not regained his birth weight. He nurses all the time, and he pees and poops plenty,,,he looks great to me! I have plenty of milk,,,oh, look, it's letting down now, well, that's just special, and do I have nursing pads on? Of course not! Sigh.....

4. SO, anyway, I'm back. He's not gaining weight fast enough, and so they want me to supplement with formula. When I acted less than thrilled with the idea, they gave me a bag full of samples to take home. I guess they thought I didn't want to spend the money. Well, I *am* pretty cheap, but that's not why I breastfeed, you know? So, I did what I always do when I can tell the doctor isn't listening to me. I nodded my head and took the bag and went home to do whatever I want. The church's food pantry will get the formula. I'm loading him up like a fatted calf this week, and we'll see what he weighs on Friday. That's when I have to go back.

And now I'm typing one-handed, so I'd better wrap this up. Nice chatting!

Henry at three weeks

The lighting came out a little weird...




I wanted to get these up now, but don't have time to type much! Henry is gaining weight too slowly, according to the pediatrician, so we are nursing *a lot*. Hope to be back soon!

Potty Party!

Jack has gone poo-poo in the potty two days in a row!

Um...well, yes, he is 5 1/2. Imagine my relief when I found out that these issues are very common in autistic children! It's related to their sensory/social skill issues. He mostly potty trained right around his third birthday. But he had never, ever pooped in the potty. Never. Not once. He had bowel control. He just wouldn't go in the potty! He would ask for a diaper and go in that instead. Oh, yes...we tried everything. We tried ignoring it and waiting for him to mature out of it. We tried sticker charts. We tried bribes. We tried just refusing to give him a diaper at all (um...major backfire...he just wouldn't poop at all. For days.). None of it worked.

But yesterday we unexpectedly ran out of Jack-sized diapers (the other two mostly use cloth, but he has used disposables since around his first birthday). I knew I was going grocery shopping this morning, and I really didn't want to have to make a run to the store just because we lacked one diaper to get through the day. I told him we were out and I encouraged him to just give the potty a try. Now, we've done this before, accidentally and on purpose, several times over the years, and it never worked. I don't know why yesterday was different, but he did it, he went into the bathroom and just did it! He said, "I made a poop stick!" And so, today I have been making good on three years worth of bribes...we bought a new Thomas train today,



and we had a "potty party" complete with chocolate cupcakes and ice cream. And he used the potty again today!

I couldn't have been prouder if it happened three years ago!

Henry is two weeks old....

....and I have no time to blog.

But in a good way.

Bear with me while we find our new normal! :)

I have started his birth story and hope to have it posted soon.

A one week old daybook

Outside my window...cloudy and cool. Many days have been quite warm already, reminding me that our hot southern summer is coming!

I am hearing...the whir of Henry's swing, and every so often a grunty, rooting sound that tells me my computer time will be short this morning. :)

I am thinking...does anyone else's children find it physically impossible to *close* things? Bread bags, cabinet doors, front doors...I cleaned out the fridge while John and Maria went grocery shopping (not the scrubbing out kind of cleaning, just the digging around for funky, outdated stuff kind of cleaning), and I must have found 15 milk jug caps floating around inside the fridge because instead of putting the cap back on the milk they just leave it on a shelf. Sigh.

I am thankful for...baby swings. I love attachment parenting, but I do love me a baby swing. I do not consider the two to be incompatible.

I am wearing...very old pajama pants and a tshirt. I do not get dressed the first two weeks after having a new baby. I feel it sends an important visual message to my family..."I am healing, don't expect much."

We are currently reading...Kain and I are now onto "Little Town on the Prairie". I got a bunch of Keven Henke books in a Scholastic book order. I discovered these back when Maria was a preschooler...she was *SO* Lilly in Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse. :)
Chrysanthemum is probably my favorite. Chrysanthemum, Chrysanthemum, Chrysanthemum.

I am praying...for Henry's goopy eyes. He has blocked tear ducts. I'm praying they don't require antibiotics.

Latest on the babies...Henry is doing great. He's lost enough weight that I have to bring him in on Wednesday for another weight check, but I think he'll be fine. He's nursing well, and big babies can afford lose more. He's getting those baby zits and he's peeling so much he looks like he's molting. So much for pretty baby skin. The kids are freaked out about it, but I've assured them that they all did this, and his skin will be pretty again very soon. He's very alert and loves to listen to people talk. We spend long periods of time just staring at each other and chatting. He thinks I'm quite fascinating. And the feeling is mutual. :)

From the kitchen...freezer meals, freezer meals, freezer meals. Maria had her name day the other day, and I did make some Italian sloppy joes, which are *way* easy, and John picked up a cheesecake from the store, so that's the extent of my actual cooking.

Around the house...imperfect cleaning done by husband and children. God love them for doing it.

In the learning room...I'm filling out enrollment papers for Mother of Divine Grace. This will be our first year to enroll, or to try to anyway...I hope we get in. I'm a bit late.

In the garden- weeds.

Plans for the rest of the week...John is off work for another week, so he will be running everyone around to therapies and dance class and all of that. Woohoo! I have to confirm with the church, but I think we will be having a baptism on Mother's Day.

Our week in pictures...

Henry's first bath. He's not thrilled.

My parents bought this little swing for Henry. Tess adores it. She sits in it and pushes with her feet and says, "Whee! Swing!!!" She's gotta be right around the 25 pound weight limit, maybe even a smidge over. I'm thinking she'll get over it soon though, and forcing her out of it will only contribute to jealously issues. Yes, there are a few, though over all she is quite taken with Henry.

The next three were taken in the garden outside the local rec center. The kids' homeschool co-op had their end of the year gala here last week, complete with a show and play that all three participated in.



Henry in the morning sunlight.

Finally...a birth announcement!

Henry Robert was born Friday, April 23, at 9:34pm, 10 pounds, 10 ounces, 22 1/2 inches long...he's doing wonderfully and nursing well, especially since my milk started coming in today. :) Birth story to follow in a day or two....

"Although man and woman are equal in nature, it’s not exactly each giving a gift to the other. It’s a bit more complex than that. The man is made by God to want to give himself to someone like him (bone of my bones), and the woman is made by God, completing His creation, to be the person who receives the gift."

"When she receives the gift, and precisely by means of her receptivity, she is able to give the gift in return: the child, the embodiment of the love of the two, united in one flesh."

"We often think of “two becoming one flesh” as meaning the physical union of the two in the act of love, but it has this other dimension, also physical but more than physical"


"the expression of the love of the gift and the reception of the gift in the form of another human being"

"another flesh of my flesh"

"another image of God"

"the new person who also has a soul and a desire to give the gift of himself."

Beautifully said quotes from the lovely Leila.

a "no, I haven't had this baby yet" daybook

Outside my window...cloudy and cool, the cardinals are at the feeders.

I am hearing...the cardinals! They woke me up this morning. It's a nice way to wake up though...beats an alarm clock.

I am thinking...that my coffee mug needs a refill. How's that for deep thoughts?

I am thankful for...my husband,,,he's home, and upstairs sleeping, which will help keep the littles up there for a while.

I am wearing...a pair of sweatpants and a tshirt.

We are currently reading...I'm reading some old Robin Cook novel that my parents gave me. We trade finished fiction back and forth before passing it on to the thrift stores. I'm finding paperback fiction a painless way to pass the time.

I am praying...that today will be this baby's birthday!

Latest on the babies...I'm still pregnant. That's all the latest that matters. My due date has come and gone, I'm over a week late, or just about a week late, depending on which due date you want to go with. I have periods of regular, strong contractions pretty much every day and have for several days now. But they aren't "taking", and we are still waiting. It is most frustrating.

In other kid news...Jack is so funny. He will say things oddly a lot of the time...most kids do, of course, but Jack's funny little sayings happen practically hourly because he has trouble expressing himself to begin with, especially abstract things like when he's upset or angry. He will usually use scripted speech at these times, some phrase he's picked up from one of us or from a tv show. But every so often he just expresses himself, in his own words, very well, and it's so cute to hear. Yesterday Maria was making him get off his computer game and he was *not happy* about that. He told her, "Stop treating me that way Maria! Take your annoying away!"

From the kitchen...labor, and post-labor foods, waiting to be packed up. Cheese and crackers, nuts, fruit, juice, soups...

Around the house...keeping up with laundry, and that's about it. John cleaned the kitchen yesterday, isn't that sweet? Boy, it needed it.

In the learning room...I made Kain pick up in there yesterday as a consequence for a behavior issue. You can always tell when we are having a hard time with Kain...the house and yard are much neater.

In the garden- A huge pile of sticks and branches, gathered by Kain, as a consequence for another behavior issue. :) Oh, and our dogwoods are blooming! They are getting so big! We got them as a couple of twigs from the Arbor Day foundation three springs ago. Last year was the first time they bloomed, but barely. Maria's had a couple of flowers, and I don't think Kain's had any. This year they both have several. My only issue is that I ordered a pink and red one. Our house is white, and I wanted some color in the front yard. Well, they are both blooming with white flowers! Ah well...

Plans for the rest of the week...Um....baby? Yeah. Yeah, I think I'd like to have a baby. Today, please.

Jack, an update

I wanted to give an update of where we are with Jack and his treatment. First of all, I've finished The Autism Book by Dr. Sears, and I strongly do recommend it, especially if you are new to the autism game. There is *so* much information out there on treatments and therapies, both mainstream and alternative, and it is really overwhelming to even know what to try and how to get started. The thing I like most about this book is that he gives a step-by-step approach for how to tackle autism and what interventions hold the most promise and how exactly to get each started...very specific advice, which I appreciate!

So, Jack has started OT...just barely. He actually just had his third session yesterday. He likes going, which makes it that much easier...but I'm not surprised about that. Kain always loved going to therapy. An occupational therapist will work on life skills with him...everything from dressing and eating and other self-care routines to helping his motor skill delays. She will also help us with his sensory integration issues. Autistic kids have difficulty dealing with stimulation, difficulty filtering what is going on around them, and this can lead to many of their odd little behaviors...everything from hand-flapping to picky eating. One of the first skills they are working on is handwashing. I know that sounds simple, but no, Jack can't wash his hands independently. Now, Jack can do a *lot* independently, don't get me wrong. But life skills...next to nothing. These kids don't have the social skills to be motivated to imitate mom/dad/siblings and learn how to do things like this on their own. Like for Tess, she already is very interested in everything we do and imitates me all the time. Maria's mantra as a preschooler was "I do it mineself!" Jack has never been like that. He can unlock any door, climb into any cabinet, work every button on every appliance and electronic equipment in the house, beat me at any Wii game, and play songs on the piano, but he has no interest in learning how to dress himself or brush his own teeth or put on his shoes. So, they are starting with hand-washing. She has made a chart for him with all the steps involved in washing his hands, and he's practicing with her, and in a session or two she will be sending this home with us to continue working with him at home. It seems so odd to have to work so hard to learn something so simple, doesn't it? But that's where he is.

He hasn't started speech yet. We had to wait for our copy of the reports from the Children's Hospital first, and get a referral from his PCP. Those are all in,,,I'm waiting to get the phone call saying he's scheduled. If I wasn't going to have a baby any day now, I would have called to nag somebody by now, but since we are sitting in baby limbo I can't see a reason to push to get it started right this instant, you know? I'll call and bug someone once the baby is born though.

As far as the alternative treatments to try...the most promising intervention looks to be the casein free/gluten free diet. We are going to take him off casein first, as recommended in the book...first, because it's much easier to go casein free, and second, the effects of going casein free, if you get any, are supposed to show more quickly and dramatically than going gluten free. I dreaded the changes. Jack is extremely picky and only lives on a handful of foods...all of which contain gluten and casein. He basically lives on milk, string cheese, peanut butter sandwiches, crackers, grapes, apples, and bananas. He'll eat some junkier things like pizza, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, and chocolate too. No vegetables. No meat, unless you consider hot dogs and chicken nuggets to be meat :). No juice even. Pushing him to try other foods makes him gag and sometimes even vomit. So, I needed to do this gradually. We started by finding a milk substitute, because he drinks a *lot* of milk, Soy milk is not recommended as a substitute because many kids develop a sensitivity to that as well. So, I bought some rice milk and started gradually substituting, starting with one part rice milk to 3 parts cow's milk. To my surprise, he really liked the rice milk after all, and now he is on all rice milk. I stopped buying the string cheese. And we've used up our old vitamins for him that contained casein, so I'll be ordering some new CF/GF ones this weekend. I would say that this has gotten rid of the vast majority of the casein he eats. That's about it for now, and about all I can handle until the baby comes. Once he arrives I will get serious about reading labels and weeding out the rest of the casein.

Is it helping? Oh, I'm not sure yet. It does seem to be, but I can't be sure yet that it's not a "seeing what I want to see" kind of thing. He's still autistic. :) None of these is really supposed to bring about a miracle cure. I would say the biggest change I've noticed is that he seems happier and more...present. Just more here on our planet, less withdrawn. He talks to us more, he shares more with me verbally, if still in his own quirky odd speech. He also seems to be sleeping better. Last week he even slept one night in his own bed all night long! So, we'll see. After we completely get rid of the casein for a few weeks, we will do a "challenge" of offering it again and see what happens.

So, that's where we are. Thanks for reading along. I'd really like to keep records of what we are doing this way to look back on someday.

an Easter season datebook

Outside my window...beautiful spring...a bit cloudy at the moment, but it's set to be a beautiful week, highs in the 70's.

I am hearing...not a thing except the occasional car drive by or bird chirp. Everyone is still asleep. Ahhhhh....

I am thinking...that I smell gasoline. And now I see dh's work gloves sitting on the computer desk. Hmmm...

I am thankful for...a good night's sleep. They are harder to come by the lately.

I am wearing...khaki pajama shorts, a pink tshirt

We are currently reading...Kain and I are *almost* finished with the Long Winter. Oh, this book makes me cry. The images of Pa, slowly starving over that winter, coming in from doing chores with chapped, cut hands and being so hungry that "his eyes glittered" at the umpteenth meal of potatoes and brown bread...poor thin, pale
Carrie still weak from the scarlet fever that blinded Mary...

I am praying...for this Russian boy and the mother that adopted him. I'm afraid I don't have the same outlook, exactly, as most people on this story. Don't get me wrong, the way she handled this boy's return is pretty ridiculous and sad, but just trust me on this one, unless you have personally tried to raise a damaged child, please just pray for her. You can't possibly get what it's like unless you've been there. No, having a family member who did it or working with special needs kids is not the same. I'm talking about day in/day out ugliness of dealing with these children on a 24/7 basis. It's not the same. And all the people who are saying she should have "gotten some help" are naive. There is no help. Trust me. Kain is on his fourth therapist, and his sixth month in therapeutic day treatment, and nothing has helped much. The "professionals" have no better idea of what to do with these kids than anyone else. It's ugly trail and error, and lots of tearful prayers. I'm weary of weepy social workers moaning and sighing on TV for these children. It's useless. If you want to help these children, get more support for the families that are trying to raise them. Because it's a lonely business, let me tell you. These kids tear your life apart while you are trying to fix theirs. Yes, the mom should have handled it much differently. But I can't say I've never fantisized about doing something similar. Anyone who doesn't understand that and thinks they have all the answers to fix these kids needs to go and adopt an older, damaged child and fix them up, quick, while they still know everything. And that's the end of that rant.

Pondering these words...
A girl is Innocence playing in the mud, Beauty standing on its head, and Motherhood dragging a doll by the foot.
Alan Marshall Beck


Latest on the babies...Hmmmm, I'm sorry? What baby would that be? Oh, yes, the baby that is DUE RIGHT NOW? Well, we're not obsessing about that at all, I can promise you, because if it's one thing I've learned by my 4th pregnancy, it's that you are a damned fool if you put your life on hold and enter that baby limbo stage where you spend every minute of every day expecting to go into labor, getting an adrenaline rush every time you have a couple of contractions because you are foolish enough to think this might really be "it" this time. No sir, we aren't doing that nonsense around here.

From the kitchen...clean dishes, mostly, and freezer meals.

Around the house...clean laundry, as close to daily as I can manage it.

In the learning room...plans, actually. I'm in the mood to plan, and looking forward to some fun things for Jack and Tess this summer. Still haven't made that PECS schedule for Jack, shame on me. But I will, and I'll share pictures of it when I'm done.

In the garden- It's all about John keeping up with yard work now, grass growing like mad from spring rain. I'm doing nothing. :)

Plans for the rest of the week... um...well...dare I hope for the obvious? Otherwise,,,life as usual, with as many unneeded activities cut out as I can manage. Kain tested out of OT, so he's done with that (yay!). Kain still has behavioral therapy, Jack's therapies go on too of course, co-op day on Thursday (only two left this year!), and, if still needed, another midwife appointment on Friday (sigh).

Pictures...oh my, I finally emptied my camera! Yay!